An Elephant Goes To Market

Once upon a time an elephant decided to visit the market. He had a quandry, the market was a long way away and he had no way to get there.
He decided to try public transport, so he went to the bus stop. When he reached it he couldn't read the times on the chart as he had forgotten his glasses.

After ten minutes a man walked by so the elephant asked him to check how long the bus would be. The man explained the bus would be another fifteen minutes so the elephant decided to wait a while longer, having thanked the stranger for his aid.
After a time dribs and drabs of little old ladies arrived, each with a reproving glance at the elephant, they greeted each other and commenced to gossip.

Within a short time of the old ladies arrivals the bus pulled up to an echo of tutting and muttering of lateness. The elephant, having learnt his manners, let the old ladies onto the bus first before trying to enter himself. Poking his head through the door he asked the driver how much it was to travel to the market. The driver responded "£3.60, and don't try and tell me you have it, everyone knows elephants don't have any money!"
The elephant agreed but asked if he could have a ride anyway, the driver said no.
The elephant then remembered a story about a fellow elephant that had learnt to fly. In that story the elephant had been at a circus and the elephant promptly concocted a story about having fled a circus and knowing his freedom was available at the market. The driver being a wily fellow saw through this, for there was no circus in town. He shouted that he didn't take stowaways and shut the doors on the poor elephants face.
The elephant was shocked by this and a mite slow in reacting so was caught by the doors before he could flinch out of reach. With a yelp, as only an elephant can, he watched the bus trundle away full of frowning elderly women.

As the bus passed from sight the elephant had to think of another way to reach the market. He considered trying to call a taxi but realised his lack of money would be somewhat of a hinderance, and that was if he could even find twenty pence for the phone box.
Hitchhiking was his next thought, to the extent he even searched out a good spot for it. This was when he realised, upon attempting to use one, that he didn't have any thumbs!

Finally he decided, with the day passing by, to start to walk in the vague hope he would find something along the way. So he set off walking along the roadside as there was no pavement outside the village. Having remembered to walk with the traffic coming towards him he wandered down the street. After a short time a car came down the road towards him. The approaching vehicle started to beep his horn and stopped in front of the elephant. He lowered his window and leaned out.
"Get out of the road you great oaf!" he yelled.
"But I'm as far across as I can get." countered the elephant.
"Yes and nearly as far the other way as well."
The elephant realised the man was right, there was no room to pass the elephant on the other side of the road. The elephant apologised to the man and looked for a way off the road. Seeing a path a little ways back he wandered along to it and commenced along it''s narrow ways. He felt the brush of vegetation but was unaware that he was turning the path into a highway.

After walking what seemed a mile the elephant realised he wasn't going towards the market but in completely the wrong direction. Seeing a field next to the path the elephant decided to cut across here. He saw a sign next to the fence but as he had forgotten his glasses he paid it no heed. Stepping over the fence carefully, or more accurately only destroying it with his rear legs, he proceeded across country. The elephant was really enjoying his relaxing walk through the fields of corn.
Then suddenly a loud bang was heard and the elephant felt a great pain in his head. He decided to kneel down to rest as he heard a man shouting. Thinking about it he realised he had been shot and the man was shouting about a no tresspassing sign. This was when the elephant realised he wasn't going to reach the market after all and thought to himself. "Oh  you are such a dumbo!"
He didn't heard the next shot, or anything else ever again.
So remember children, when you're in the countryside read the signs.
                                                                                                                    The End