Do You Know?

I sometimes sit in our spot
Reminiscing about what used to be
I start to wonder if you ever think of me
Then I realize of course you don't

Things are so different between us now
I can't even begin to explain
How much I have endured, the pain
The sleepless nights, the sadness

I don't want to hurt anymore
But I don't know how to just shut it all out
I wonder if I should've taken a different route
One where I wouldn't have ever met you

But if I hadn't taken the route I had
I wouldn't have ever known you
And experienced what I had, through
The good and the bad times we had

Despite the hurt that I've had to endure
I knew at one point that my feelings were returned
In the time we spent together, being burned
Was not how I imagined things would end

All those times we spent together
And laughed and joked and were at ease
I never thought you were so hard to please
You hid that well the whole time

We were together for a year when I found out
I was so smitten, obviously I wouldn't believe
That girl who claimed...that she conceived
With you as the father

I shrugged off her comment and walked away
Laughing when I told you
Little did I know it was true
That I had been deceived for 2 months

2 months prior to her spilling the beans
I had been away, at camp, naive
Whatever you told me I believed
You had promised to be faithful

When you left for California for 2 months
The night that you left you asked me a question
You asked if I would wait for you, in my honest opinion
I thought you were the one, and I promised I'd wait

When you told me that what she said was true
I was in complete shock, I didn't know what to say
I backed away from you in horror as you said "ba--"
I glared at you and you never finished the word

I didn't know whether to cry
Or to be sad
Or to be mad
Or to be relieved

Because I now knew what my friends
Were telling me were all true
That I shouldn't ever have believed in you
But I was unsure

I didn't want us to be over
I didn't want to ever let you go
But I didn't know
If our relationship could withstand this

It was too much for me to handle
On top of all things else
So I said "You deserve her. Chels"
Referring to the impregnated girl

You grabbed my hand as I turned away
And said you were sorry and that you didn't mean it
Because you were drunk and confused by all of it
And that I was the one you truly loved

I would've believed all of that until I found out
So I said you could cut the crap
But little did you know that was all an act
That hurting you hurt me more than you could imagine

But leaving you was the right decision
I couldn't continue to be in a relationship
I was being lied to with all of this shit
So have a nice life without me

What we had was real and pure
Until you made that mistake, giving into the moment
That was your mistake and you lost me, the cement
Of our love that kept us both together