My worst 31 days in life

This is my ever worst days in life that going to last more than 31 days or a month. Practically nothing compares what is the feelings that I have never felt so bad before, the heart is like being peirce with a needle that can't be pulled out. I know as a result of such situation, is not to blame anyone, the simple one to be blamed is me first who simply say things from anger. But this punishment is too big that makes me falls.

I just can't express my feelings any where else, cause I miss my Darling so much so much, she have not been sleeping with me for 8 days. Life is really like hell for this first 8 days, and further more a few more 8 days to overcome. I have done a big mistake by simply saying anger words that were not supposed to be meant. This causes fire and ice within my body, I have not been so fire hot up where I can't control my self when I heard she is temporary leaving me for a moment. I am so ice cold when really feel that she is no longer in the house. But any how, I shouldn't be so hot firely temper, cause this will also make my darling extremely sad too.

I can share that no one in my 36 years of life can really makes me feels so bad, sorry to mentioned that not even my own father's death can make me feel so worst in my life. I really don't know why, maybe this is the fated. Throughout my life, I have not love someone until I can't sleep even have one split second that I know that she is not around.

But my life really makes me so difficult now cause with my high emotions on her, she is also very sturbborn strong people where to emphasize my wrongs wrongs wrongs. If she wishes to punish me, please don't punish me by not staying together with her.