6/27/2010

I'm writing right now for two reasons. One is so i don't go insane. The second is to show myself that i can. Every time i have an idea, a thought, a spark, whatever you want to call it, I usually shoot myself down before it has a chance to take flight. So by taking a step and just writing for the hell of it, i'm hoping to open myself up to new possibilities, at worst i will alleviate some of the pressure of day to day living. The idea of keeping a journal is somehow repulsive to me. Self-satisfying, weak. Reserved for those who would dedicate their lives to academia, magazine articles, pop culture and the like. Not people with families and responsibilities, and definitely not people inbetween jobs, attempting to finish school, and pursuing careers that have very little to do with keeping a damn journal. But deep down i know i want to write. I enjoy writing, even in highschool, and then college, if I were give a mundane writing exercise or report it would eventually lead to an adrenaline-fueled writing spree. It took a while to start but I couldn't stop once i did.



My biggest hindrance to perusing writing as a hobby or whatever is my own belief that what i write is amateurish, insufficient, basically not good enough and therefore not worth the time it takes to write. So for the time being I will suppress these self-depreciating thoughts as best I can and just write for a while and see what happens. I originally intended for all of these to be private, but i think i will make everything public. The anonymity makes it a little less whiny than a blog or facebook ramble...I think, anyway