sentence structure

I keep meaning to start this phrase with an I…..with an expression of myself or exacting word to place an emotion in the way of this thinking. Your eyes are hard to avoid. They seem to accuse, while i can’t deny. I trace the lines on the mirror- forgive you once more. I would tell you why if i could, however i am not an equation to be figured or an object placed neatly in a box. This sentiment is beyond my grasp, how did we come this far without understanding fully the consequences of our actions. Why is it that heart and hate are the ideal? I don’t understand your stance in my world- you don’t make sense to me.