Hark! An alarm be sounding!

It's been continuously chiming since this morning.  Of course, being the lazy sod I am, chose to ignore such a loud noise and dream about my wonderful life of freedom.  Not many people get to live such a life: No rent, House more grandiose than a mansion, an unlimited supply of money.  My life has had no adversity - I've always been pampered, even from my wee ages.  And yet, I can't get it out of my mind - that infernal noise, like the Demon's commander sounding the trumpet for the war against God's army.
Finally becoming motivated enough to question the reason of the alarm, I headed downstairs and to the living room to animate the television into giving me the answer.  Turning on the news, I noticed a small man – one who looked as if he had the most horrific time of his life just then: A older man chasing after him with a gun, whilst the man himself was chasing after a young girl I presume to be the older gentleman’s daughter.  Below the picture captions pursued: “Breaking news! Mad man caught at Mighty Bills shooting range!”  Amazed at what this dreadful society is turning into, I commanded the nearest butler to donate a large sum of money towards some sort of research on the human intellect – it doesn’t matter the content of the study, as long as it’s for the sake of common sense.  Feeling adventurous today, I headed to the sunlit world called outside and decided to walk – something that hasn’t occurred since I was a young child.  It’s probably because I just donated some money – I feel good, so the nice spring mood is appropriate.
A few hours after the walk, I circled back to my home – it’s already 3PM, much too late for me to do anything.  As I reached for my keys to unlock the door, I noticed it to be slightly ajar.  Thinking it was one of the maid or butlers slacking on the job, I pounded into the house ready to punish some workers.  Yet, what I found was unexpected – as well as unwelcome.  Sitting in my chair was a dirty man, though not much older than I.  Less educated, though? Yes.  I can tell by the way he’s staring at the books on the shelves – as if he’s allergic to them.  Steeling my resolve, I started forward to the unknown intruder – making sure to grab something blunt along the way.  Sure, there are guns and blades and such, but the blunt object has been in use since the time of the cavemen, and is still used today…. That has to be saying something, right?  Well, no matter – all that is important is who the stranger is and why is he sitting in my 16,000$ leather chair.
“May I help you?” I asked, a little roughly
“Sure.  Turn that T.V on, huh? I want to see what’s on the news right now.  Didn’t ya hear? Some punk escaped from the local jail.  Say he’s a total nut job.  He attacked his boss and almost kidnapped his daughter!” He laughed at the last statement, almost as if he knew something about it.
“The butler there will turn it on.  For now, I want to know why you are in my home!  Give me one good reason I shouldn’t dial the authorities? They’d take care of this simply enough.” And as I awaited his reply, his hand started rising up.  Eventually, it was extended fully, finger pointing forward toward the television.
“That’s the reason, ole` chap.  Good night, and don’t worry.  I’ll take care of your house while you’re on a nice cruise – I hear Iceland is nice this time of year.”  All I could do before I was knocked out was reach for my wallet, located in my back pocket, making sure it was still there.