BECAUSE YOU NEVER NOTICED ME

I jumped, I fell, I tried real hard,

I did the things that you admired,

I went out of my way to shine,

All so that you would notice me.

I excelled at things I never knew,

I became that smart kid as I grew,

People looked at me differently,

But you never even noticed me.

I tried to tell you how I felt,

But you casually swept my heart aside,

You brushed my feelings with a laugh,

And still you never noticed me.

Gradually I grew immune,

Your words ceased to inflict their pain,

I gave up on you like you gave up on me,

And suddenly – I was okay.

So I started living my own life,

I got into booze and I tried drugs,

I chilled with my friends and I had a blast,

And then you finally noticed me.

You saw all the whimsical things I did,

Concluded I was a bad kid,

You made it sound like I broke your heart,

A thoughtless teenager acting out,

But I believed you really cared,

And I oh-so-naively changed.

I became that person I once was,

And all my past hopes were restored,

So it took a while for me to see,

You actually never noticed me.

I came crashing down, I felt betrayed,

And berated myself for being depressed,

I avoided you cause we became awkward,

But time comes, time goes; we fell apart,

I went away, you stayed the same,

After a while, we were okay.

Now I’m normal as can be,

I smile, I laugh and act funny,

But that hurt girl inside of me,

Some days when I’m blue, she’s all I see,

And in my worst moments when I’m down,

Your taunting words come back to me.

But I want you to know that I love you, Mom,

And I’ve always loved you just the same,

And though a teenager I may have been,

I knew you loved me in your own way,

I was hot-tempered, cocky and it drove you wild,

Now I’m skeptical, cynical and I lack trust,

I hope you know that I don’t blame you,

For all the shit that went wrong in my life,

In fact I thank you,

'Cause you made me a much stronger person,

So it’s okay, and as for the hurt,

Better you than anybody else.

So I’m not accusing you or placing blame,

But I still turned out the way I did,

Because you never noticed me.