Fast Living

CHAPTER 1

I’M LEAVING YOU

  Well let me start by saying I don’t need anybody! The two years I spent with you was the craziest and worst time of my life! All the ups and downs and never worrying about myself, only thinking of ways to spoil and make you feel good. I never thought I would see the day I didn’t want you, but its here and couldn’t have been more on time. Sitting here listening to Jasmine Sullivan thinking of how you did me! I felt destroyed and defeated when you did me wrong but how was I not prepared and this was the norm for you. I had allowed you to think that I would stand by you through anything, and I would have if it wasn’t me you were running over. Sure I had times where I felt like a complete fool but hell I was in love! I wanted the high school sweetheart story, you know you meet young, fall in love, get married, have beautiful children and live happily ever after! BULLSHIT!!! Not only did you fuck over me but you hurt me so many times! I could kill you and all those raggedy heifers you was with while I was working, sleeping, or waiting on yo’ trifling ass! Yes im mad ass hell, yes I am because I aint deserve this shit I was good to you. When yo’ own kin aint do shit for you I did, when yo mama put yo ass out me and mine took you in! I still never stepped on yo toes, I encouraged you and told you your time was coming and that everything was going to be ok. So after Pam, Shanequia, Asia, Keisha, Ashley, Nesha and others I can’t remember their names I was still there with “my man” but this bitch Tee-Tee was the last straw!!! You actually were leaving me to go be with her? To spend the night at her crib?? For her to comfort you when you were grieving?? What the hell Oh hell naw it’s on nigga! So after all this shit yall I went on to find out all the shit! Did you guess??? That’s right I called that bitch!!!!! I wouldn’t be tha bitch I am  if I didn’t! So I called her!!! Shit even let her call me a few times I don’t give a fuck at this point!!! Now muthafuckaz is telling on each other hahaha that’s right fuck both of yall this is about me! I played the shyt out of both of em made them tell me everything I wanted to know! First off this bytch is grown ass hell and he only 18 oh and me im young 17 but don’t trip I got this shyt on lock!!!! Now this bytch build is horrible face even worse but me im short thick and so sexy!!!! So why this niqqa choose ground beef over steak I couldn’t tell you cuz I don’t know! So now you know I broke that shyt off ASAP cuz muthafuckaz always think a bytch playing oh not this time! That’s right go be with yo big ass cow!!!

CHAPTER 2

FRESH START(KIND OF)

So let’s see I’ve started my senior year in school it going okay I mean I still me, I’m seeing a new guy I like and he on his shyt, Im having so much fun and partying harder than ever!!! Oh of course you want to know about my new guy right?!?! Well his name is Da1 he’s short, kind of cute, smooth as chocolate skin, nice body, and clean cut. He is so fucking laid back and cool it’s crazy and im so into him it’s ridiculous!  So I met him when me, my girl Silly and my cousin Crazy  were kicking it, we had the whole night planned out, we was gone hit a party Silly wanted to go to & then hit the bar for a minute! So we get to the party  which was at a house (wtf) and we get in and it’s a bytch fest nothing but chicks! So we chilling and Im sipping on my tequila and cranberry juice talking to my gurls when they like let’s go! Ok cool its dead anyway so as we leaving & a nigga get at me but his teeth through! So we ride around make a few minor stops still nobody I want to kick it with or talk to, hell I stayed in the car arguing with myX for most of the night!  So finally when I get him to go to sleep and stop calling my phone we back on our dead ass block waiting on my tt call us to meet her at the bar! Shyt next thing I know two dudes outside the car talking to Crazy and Silly, oh shyt is it fina go down finally?!? So I get out and go in the house cuz it’s only two, damn nobody for me, but when I came back out it’s a big ass truck sitting there! It’s their cousin and  I had to get his attention, so I show off my best feature! So to let him see my big ass I turn and give my best walk going into the house and that’s all it took I GOT EM! All I hear when I turn is damn is that real?!? I laugh thinking hell yea and I shake my shyt a lil bit but not to much and walk in the house to check my make up! When I come out this bytch Silly all in the truck talking I’m thinking I know this bytch aint tryna get at him, I mean that’s my gurl and all but her white ass can’t compete with all this ass! So we get in the car to follow them to the east to go kick it with them but half way there my tt call and say she ready so we tell them we a be there after we leave! Now he think im playing oh I wouldn’t never play his sexy ass I got to have that! So we get to the bar and after a few Jell-O shots and the tequila I had shyt im shaking my shyt like crazy, but you know hoes gotta hate some, boney bytch tried to make my dress come up! That bytch aint phasing me though I had a thong on and if that dress would of came up I would have had all niggaz including hers eyes on me! Shyt I aint embarrassed about being thick im comfortable in my skin! So after the bar we went to kick it with Da1, Pretty and Blk and they was super cool and on top of that Da1 crib was nice as hell!! So we all kicking it, talking and just getting to know each other better having a hell of time. Shyt next thing I knew everybody had went down stairs and me and Da1 was chilling upstairs just listening to music and shyt ,when  he starts touching all on me playing wit my pretty shaved mama and I aint gone lie I had just met him but that liquor had me feeling good and I was ready!!! So after a lil minute of that he took me in his room it was nice too and we fucked he wasn’t big as myX but he was curved and it was hitting all the right spots!

         Well now I’ve been talking to da1 for about 4 months and I’m not too sure where it’s going or if it’s going anywhere at all. Shyt im just letting things happen I mean it’s been Carlito the pretty boy who doesn’t want a relationship, Monk the old guy who wants a young girl he can control, Cocky the hustler who wants a girl he can have by his side every second, Fred my best friend from middle school who wants it to be something there but I love him 2 much to mess up our friendship, Arrogant the pretty light skin conceited nigga who’s str8 disrespectful and wants to say and do whatever he wants’, T the playa tryna act like he aint one  and out everybody Da1 is my pick and we’ve been messing around  the longest, I see him the most, talk to him the most and even feel the most comfortable around him but why does he not want me the way I want him??? I guess it’s because he’s ex is drop dead gorgeous and im just me, im not ugly but this bytch is so pretty like fuckin flawless! I guess so but why is he spending so much time with me??? Why bother with me when u could have that I mean ugh shyt I don’t know I just want him so bad it’s crazy or is just because I can’t have him??? So I kicked It with Cocky last night after Mario this fat fuck who’ve I’ve been dodging but decided to give him a chance played me but oh well I really wasn’t feeling him anyway. Ok back to Cocky, he picked me up in a different car then the first time and we go to this car shop and he gets the car he normally drives and puts it on the street and says get in that car and follow me. I’m seventeen so shyt yea I still get excited about driving seeing as though my mama won’t let me, so I follow his instructions. I get in and he’s already yelling come on man hurry yo ass up and follow me! I aint even listening im finishing my damn seat so I can reach the pedals. So I follow him and he puts the car he drove up and gets in with me and we go to a house where there is ppl who are obviously crack heads but the house is nice and clean. The woman who’s house it must be tells me don’t sit in here go over there with Cash (Cocky) cuz u will catch a cold contact. My dumb ass thought she was talking about the lady coughing but I found out she meant a contact from the dope. So Cocky says “Man hand me that blue cup right there!” I look at the cup then him and say try “Can you please hand me that cup!” then right when he’s a bout to speak the lady they call Big Mama whose house it is says “Girl hand him that damn cup, he aint got to say all that he’s a king and come from a long line of kings” Without thinking I reply “And I’m queen and I don’t deserve to be talked to like that and I won’t tolerate no disrespect!”  She continues to talk about a king has more power than the queen and some other bullshyt. I just wished he would hurry up cooking that shyt so we could go cuz I was uncomfortable! All night all we did was ride around with him serving fiends and I realized I hadn’t eaten all day so I asked him to take me to get me some food. We get to Popeye’s and he orders my food. Then I try to give him the money for my food but it was really a test which he passed lol he told me when im with him I aint gotta worry bout shyt!!!! Jack mf pot!!!! So I continue acting like I had it but he insisted and Im like “Why you mad ppl give u money all the time and he gets this look and say them fuckin hypes baby! So enough said I fall back and chill cuz like I stated before ima Queen and should be treated as such! You feel me??? So towards the end of the night we end up kinda fuckin in his car and the reason I say kinda is because he couldn’t get comfortable and after all that begging cuz I dont get down like that!!! But he was so damn sexy and hood and not to mention so damn freaky he made me dripping wet even though I put up a fight. I aint want him to think I was a hoe but he could a been had the draws lmao! Well I went home and Da1 drunk tail was trying to come get me hell it was already 2am and I had a test in the morning so I passed and he never texted back after that so im guessing he got up with somebody else but oh well shyt I was tired and I never tell Da1 no. Hell one time he had me waiting on him all night and didn’t come and get me until seven that next morning. I aint even trip though I mean I honestly think im in love with Da1 but I think he still ♥’s his X! It hurts to have to accept not being who he wants when I want him but that’s life who knows he might come around. He has hurt my feelings a couple times though but Im not ready to lose another guy I got feelings for yet!!! When will I learn to not want ppl who dont want me??? I’m basically my own worst enemy because all I have to do is let go but I don’t I hold on to hope but deep down know it’s aint gone change but yet and still I hold on. But with the bad comes some good I’m expecting test results back from 2 nice paying jobs.

         Well alot has happen since the last time I’ve written!!! Cocky quit me for some reason I mean I was gone give him some he just couldn’t stay hard, so whose fault is that??? His right???? I mean come on now something else had to be on his mind, but I even called & text him a couple times after he wasn’t picking up or responding which I normally don’t do. Then when I talked to him he was acting different I mean did he find out I fucked Arrogant??? Shyt oh well I wasn’t fucking with him when I did or talking to him but he’s a grown man and im not his girl so yep it’s a wrap I guess that short chapter is closed lol!!! Any who I spent the night @ Da1’s house Saturday & I talked my girl Hood into coming with me cuz his cousin Funny was with him. So we go there and me and Da1 started taking shots of Bacardi & drinking mixed drinks. Now I’m a drinker and I could tell he was impressed that I could hang! So then Hood wanted to watch the new mike Epps so we went upstairs to the sitting area of Da1’s house to watch the movie. So we was chilling wit me laying all on the one and I was feeling the liquor already so I turn and kiss him right on the lips, he just smiled and said yea u drunk. I was kind of tripping cz he aint kiss me back but the liquor had me feeling to good to let it last. So I just layed back on him and he put his hand up my shirt and continued touching on my titties. They were small but he loved my big nipples that were always hard!!! Then he sat back and I layed a pillow on his lap and laid down but not even a pillow could stop me from feeling his dick getting hard. When I felt it jump a few times I looked up @ him and he gestured for me to go in his room and I gestured 4 him 2 do the same and he aint waste no time he got up and went in the room with me following. As soon as we got in the room clothes were coming off and it was CRACKING!!!! I love having sex with Da1 because he had that curve that I simply couldn’t get enough of because it hit all my spots driving me crazy. I took him into my warm, wet mouth making sure I kept my lips nice and wet to make it easy to suck him just right, and then I licked his balls up and down giving him the special attention a man like him deserved. I’m a true freak and love doing freaky ass shyt!!! So now that he’s ready to fuck me he straps up and starts to fuck me and I am in heaven as he pumps in and out  of me!!!! I moan his name loudly and accidently let it slip a few times that I love him. But nothing stops of from going about four more rounds just like I like. Then I beg for one more round and Da1 gives me just what I want. When we’re done he says “That was good shay I aint gone lie that shyt was good Shay” I’m still kind of tipsy and start to kiss down his stomach when he says “Don’t do that Shay I got to get up early in the morning girl” so I stop cuz I know he got church in the morning and lay down and before I knew it I was sleep. Oh I forgot he caught my drunk ass going thru his phone when he left out the room, I heard him coming but my reactions were a little slow cuz I had been drinking and got caught but he aint trip he just said a joke from the Mike Epps stand up about yo girl getting yo phone and slapped me on the ass. Man I like this dude cuz if myX would have caught me going thru he’s phone he probably would have beaten my ass!!! No questions asked and told me to stay out his shyt like I wasn’t being faithful to him. So that morning Da1 took me and Hood back 2 my house that morning & went to church.  Hood just kept telling me Girl don’t fuck it up with him u need to keep him cuz yall cool and shyt he goofy just like u yell can be good together. Yeah I know but I’m thinking what about when he takes back the gorgeous bytch he can have back @ any second and drops me??? I aint gone lie ima be heartbroken but I have to expect it cuz I seen a text from him to her saying “You know im coming back for u, just let me get this young shyt out my system” which means he’ll always chose her & in his heart she is the one he wants to be with.