The hope for a better tomorrow

If given the choice, I would definitely choose tomorrow. I already know what happened yesterday. And, to tell the truth, it was very uneventful. Even if yesterday was exciting I would still choose tomorrow. I experience pain and fatigue every day of my life. So, in all honesty, I know that tomorrow will be a bit of the same. However, I cannot predict what tomorrow holds. It could be a good day or it could be a bad day. But, there’s always the hope for a better tomorrow.

My yesterday was filled with pain. The rain plummeted to earth and splashed back up to heaven to recycle itself. I thought that the rain would never let up. Rain=pain in my life. Fibromyalgia reared its evil head and rammed me right in the (fill in your own blank). However, it’s still a day that I’m alive and breathing. I have a wonderful man at my side. And, I have great children whom I love dearly no matter how much they aggravate me at times. Therefore, I put my head down and leaned forward into the wind and kept on going.

My chore list had to be modified because of the pain and fatigue. I did one load of laundry, loaded the dishwasher, and then sat down with my crocheting for a half hour. I then proceeded to pick up where I left off on my chore list. Next, clean the bird cages and sweep the floors. I paced myself in 15 minute intervals alternating cleaning and resting. What normally takes me 2 hours to accomplish now became a 3 hour and 45 minute job. Afterall, I do have 8 birds with 6 different cages to clean.

By noon I was totally exhausted and had to go back to bed. As I slipped into bed and pulled the comforter up, a warm hand reached out and touched my shoulders. That was the last thing that I remember until 5:30 that evening. Yes, I had slept for 5 1/2 hours. After all that time, I was still exhausted. I wanted to stay in bed until next year. But, with the kids home from school and more chores and responsibilities to be attended to, that was not an option.

The evening followed the same path as yesterday: feed the kids, make sure their homework is done, make sure they bathe and brush their teeth, and get them to bed before 10 pm. With a whisper of a prayer on my lips, all went well. Once the kids were in bed, it was quiet time for mommy. I could fall fast asleep with no worries. Ha, ha, ya right. Now is the time when I’m so exhausted that I can’t sleep. So, I stay up half the night writing, reading, crocheting, or watching TV just praying to fall asleep again and hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.

The hope of a better day is why I would choose tomorrow as apposed to yesterday. The reality of the unknown is exciting in itself. Tomorrow may be a bad day or it may not. “What if” is always in the back of my mind. Okay, so it’s in the front of my mind too. A new day is always better, for me, than the past. We can’t go back and relive the past. So, “what if” tomorrow is a better day? “What if” I have less pain than today or yesterday?

Perhaps yesterday was a bad day and tomorrow is our chance to make a change for the better. Maybe today will be a little bit better than yesterday and tomorrow will be twice as good.