Dialogue and brimstone.

“A friend of mine once said, although the creatures we read, and dream, and film are terrifying, it’s the people who create them that are the real monsters.”

“Did you kill him?”

“Probably. I think so. Everything is blurry before last October.”

“Spooky. Halloween blues?”

“Not at all. I’ve just slaughtered so many people it runs into one long chain of things I’m not even sure I did. Looking through my mind must be like living in a facet of glass. So sharp; glittering like a star in a fireplace; yet oddly perverse.”

“Do you do that often?”

“Do what?”

“That self-retrospective poetry. You’ve turned yourself into several metaphors within just this hour.”

“Most days. Not Thursdays, though. Friday is my day off and I just can’t find the effort to be meaningful and poignant on a Thursday fright. I don’t know how you manage. I’ve seen you defend the Dark Lord’s citadel from a distance before; all you do is flap your wings about, grunt a bit- don’t argue, I’ve seen you- throw some invaders into the flames and then return to your post. No drama. No triumphant cries to the blistering sky. Not even a flamboyant killing strike.”

“After millennia of doing this I can’t help but feel a little lethargic.”

“But how do you manage? I manage to make every battle a decent drama in its own right. Once I forgot my own name, I’ve tried even harder to make every day at my post meaningful.”

“How do you think today is going?”

“Not too sure. I’ve never done guard duty with you before. You’re quite good at conversation, and I have to admit I can smell how powerful you are. Usually, I’m the strongest sentry in the area-”

“Angelic raiders are flying across the bridge.”

“You’re eyesight is unfairly good. It’s alright… the Grim Legion is posted there today and they won’t have any troubles. Which is a shame- don’t you find that they’re too efficient?”

“They won’t survive today. The head of the legion is celebrating his wedding anniversary to Amelie the Succubus. He’s not paying attention at all. Watch.”

“Oh dear. Oh dear. That doesn’t normally happen. I didn’t even know the legion looked like that under their armour. Oh, that’s just unfair. It is his wedding anniversary after all… and those raiders are using divine cannons!”

“The angels are about to rout them! Come on!”

“What? Just us two? They have divine cannons!”

“Trust me, I’m good.”

“Yes, I’m sure you are, but my own aptitude is questionable-”

“We’ll resume this conversation when we’re done defending Hell.”

“Yeah, you are good.”

“I told you.”

“That thing you did with the commander’s spear was incredible!”

“Thanks.”

“I didn’t even realise you could bend angels that way!”

“It takes a good century of practise. You didn’t do badly. I quite liked the poem you cried to the final group before you pushed them off the edge.”

“Oh, it’s just a ditty. It was nothing compared to your moves! Where did you learn to fight like that?”

“When I had to build and defend my citadel at the same time.”

“HA, that sounds like quite a feat… Oh.”

“Mmm, for about four hundred years I had to balance founding a citadel on a landscape made purely of fire and defending my divine right to be inherently evil. It ended up becoming a new martial art in its own right. Why are you bowing?”

“You’re the devil aren’t you?”

“Well, yes. In disguise.”

“If I don’t bow to you whilst in your presence it’s the law that I be consigned to the Great Griddle for a thousand years.”

“Oh, come now, I’m taking a break.”

“I do not wish to be griddled!”

“That’s rather understandable. But that law states when you’re in the presence of The Devil, you should bow. At the moment you’re in the presence of The Devil Under The Guise Of A Lowly Sentry.”

“This feels strange. I can’t even capture this moment in a metaphorical device.”

“I’m sure most writers have the same problem. Oh, look! The head of the Grim Legion is waving to us! Quick, wave back, it could get you a promotion. Good. You can stop now. You don’t want to look too eager.”

“Dark Lord?”

“Yes?”

“Why are you on guard duty under the guise of a lowly sentry?”

“Oh, I do it a few times every year. The amount of work we have to do every Halloween to keep order and organise frightful things up above- on top of defending our mischievous ways from the angels- gets a little tedious. I enjoy an occasional change of scene.”

“This has definitely been the most interesting guard duty I’ve ever served. It’s absolutely trounced the day in which I had to defend the kitchens from hostile imps with just a ladle.”

“I’m glad to hear it; although you should know a saucepan services a much better weapon than a ladle. Oh! I can spy a second troupe of raiders grouping up behind that crag. Our work never ends. Come on, I’m on tenterhooks to see what metaphor you use to describe the leaders frankly enormous thighs.”