At the Comic Book Convention

“It is not so much of what I don’t know that keeps them at bay as much of as it is what I know. Of course were I to slip up, reveal what I know, then the extent of what I don’t know would be known and I would become unknown.”
Jack Russell heard me talking aloud while I was signing comic books and he had to find out more. “What you are saying is…I’m sorry I think I lost where you were going with this.”
I looked squarely at Jack; his blue eyes were like ice. “Yes, you are lost. That’s the way it should be. Were you not lost but able to comprehend everything I say, you’d then find out exactly where you are, and that is not healthy, nor wise, but particularly perilous.”
“’Perilous?” Jack asked. “What ‘Perilous?’ You’re talking in circles.”
“Circles?” I was sure this guy was an idiot.  “Ah yes, perhaps I am, but then again what is more defensive than a circle. You can’t approach my circle from any direction without being seen, can you? Attack my circle and it’s natural curvature deflects and diffuses the assault along an arc of infinite points which in turn redeflect to an infinite number of points and so on the attack is so diffused that is ceases to exist and all that remains is the circle. Perhaps a pointed attack then, one which assails only one point of my circle? The circle is not only made up of infinite points consisting of infinite angles, but also consists of infinite arches, the most sturdy of elemental designs.”

“I can see why you’re a favorite at these conventions” Jack said. “So tell me then, if you can, what any of this has to do with the topic at hand?”
Flattery. The boy thought he’d get me to talk with flattery. What the hell, I laid it on him. “Facts and pseudo artifacts make up what the world knows or believes it knows about its past. The facts are basic, but singular, not plural. The earth is old.  Other than that all is conjecture and is based upon pseudo artifacts to confirm. For example, a bone of a T. Rex might be found in the ground in a stratum which leads researchers to conclude the piece is 65 million years old. Yet, the same creature’s bone fragment can be found a thousand miles away in the same stratum, but dates back to 85 million years.”
A slight grin of smugness appeared on Jacks face. “Yes, but that’s to be expected. Tectonic shifts occur all the time, causing layers to fracture. The plates of the earth become disjointed, a creature dies and its remains become embedded in the exposed stratum and another shift buries the remains.”
I turned my face away from Jack and signed another autograph before I tried again to enlighten him.” Yes, it’s quite plausible. And it’s also plausible that Edward Norton really is Brad Pitt.” I could have explained the truth behind that statement, but found it better to say nothing further on that point.
“You’re being dismissive to years of science and…

That kind of ignorance doesn’t deserve a response, but I grimaced any way. “And you’re not thinking. Twenty million years without evolving? Sharks, maybe, but their diversity indicates that evolution was an ongoing process. But for a land animal not to evolve for 20 million years is unthinkable. That’s why geologists and paleontologists banded together and used strata as a means of dating older pieces. They needed a lie they could sell to academia and the public.”
Unbelievable Jack muttered under his breath. “And they needed to lie…why?”

“Jesus Horatio Christ, boy, do I need to spell everything out for you?  Even within the most isolated groups, a meager genetic pool will eventually spawn an anomaly. In ten million years, the number of anomalies would be so great that an entire species would change in a minimum of seven identifiable traits with an upper limit of twenty-five. The only way for a species not to have evolved over that period of time would be through controlled manipulation and distribution of genetic material.
“Slow down here kemo sabe. They practiced birth control?”

They practiced birth control?

“Are you mocking me?”

“Are you mocking me?  Hells bells Tonto, THINK.” Agitated didn’t begin to describe how I felt. “Purposeful genetic manipulation doesn’t occur within a species. We’re at the point now in our technology where we can sample embryonic fluid and determine how bad the child’s acne will be when it’s fourteen year old, but we don’t end pregnancies just because the kid’ll have a pizza face. He’s one of us…probably. What we do is genetically alter other species of plants and animals to provide more food for us and accommodate other needs..  T Rex was a bred weapon, maybe not the most effective by itself, but when mass produced…
“Someone bred dinosaurs to be food and soldiers?” Jack said.

“Certainly as soldiers, but not food, that’d be cannibalism.”

“So, no Cannibalism?” Jack puzzled. “You’re saying dinosaurs bred other dinosaurs to defend them?”
I took a deep breath and gathered my composure. “The Tyrannosaurus’ were the pit bull of Cretaceous Period.  And, not dinosaurs per se, but reptilians.  Their culture, their technology was far in advance of ours. The ability to lay eggs instead of having to give live birth allowed them extra time to develop technologies. Among the sciences they became proficient were genetic engineering, architecture, astronomy and physics…”
“Architecture? Who’s pulling whose leg here? There’s no evidence of any architecture dating back that far.”
“That’s to be expected,” I continued, “We’re at a technological apex right now. People have sophisticated techniques that allow them to build structures which reach to incredible heights and build them in less time that it takes to make a baby. You do know what I’m talking about, right? You know, man, sex? Coitus. Bumping uglies. The horizontal hokey pokey.  Good, good.  Yet with all this technology, nothing we make today will outlast the pyramids in Egypt which are already 3000 years old. But even at that, they are deteriorated and will not last another hundred thousand years, let alone a million years, or in this case, 65 million years. If it wasn’t for…
Jack bit at the bait,” Wasn’t for what…

“Last year’s find, man. A paleobotanist, a Tibetan monk and a rabbi walked into a cave in the Gobi Desert, when a priest comes up to them and…”
“Is this some kind of joke?”

“Am I laughing? Allow me to show you this artifact. They found it in the same strata that they find T Rex fossils in." I turned around and unveiled a severely rusted sheet of metal. Upon it was a crude drawing of a green brotosaurus with symbols above it which read: "Sinclair---Dino." The evidence was irrefutable.

         “You’re putting me on.” Jack’s tone was without emotion, but only for a moment, then he exploded.  “God almighty this has been a waste of my time. Next thing you’ll be telling me is that they were flying UFO’s.”
I cleared my throat. “The earth circles an insignificant yellow star at the outer edge of a mid-sized galaxy. Ninety percent of the planets and stars in the Milky Way are thousands of light years away. We’re obscured from view by the natural radiation between us and anything that might have intelligence. So, yes, in a way they are flying UFO’s, but in truth, they come from Venus, where the temperature’s more hospitable. This migration from here to there happened…Where are you going?”
“Over to the Ninja Turtle table where there’s still some semblance of sanity.”
I shook my head at his idiocy. “Boy, just where do you think them turtles came from?”