Bleed, but stop the blood before dying

You must be wondering, is this one of another cliche story about boy-girl relationships? Another self-hope bullshit or self wallowing you skim through and go to yourself, man, enough of this teenage crap already. Well, you have every right to think so. But what I write, is basically derived from what I have seen in my years and experienced in my, not so long years of time, but enough to decipher something from it.

Love, is something that is a fine line from hate. That's what they say. I never used to believe it because I thought it is one of those catchall phrases. But I realize it is true. You cannot hate someone if you completely no feelings or emotions towards that something, or someone. Women, in general, are weak, frail and completely not in control of their hormonal emotions whenever they are sad, happy, drunk, tired or just completely at random. And they tend to show it, no matter how hard they try to act like they don't care. If you are a woman who thinks that you are strong and you don't need a man, you probably are strong for that period, and mind you, I have friends who are that strong for many, many years. But there will come a time you want someone to hold you, and love you, and someone you can love back. These blockage of emotions will just lead to repression, and believing in the theories of Siegmund Freud, the more you keep these emotions locked up inside, the more Freudian slips you will experience. Drunk dialing, sudden bursts of tears, panic attacks, and neediness for people you never thought you will be caught dead doing.

Men, on the other hand, are able to portray a stronger image because some are totally emotionally unavailable, or that they are the stronger will power to forgive, and forget. Do not misunderstand me. Forgiving is one thing, forgetting is a whole different ball game together. It takes alot to forget something, actually, no one actually forgets emotions. I'm personally not a man, but I have tried to act like one successfully for the last 2 years. I can forgive easily, and I can be so nonchalant and insensitive to everyone's feelings, including myself. I indulge myself in things in the moment, say things in the heat of the moment. When a man tells you he loves you, he usually really means it at that moment. But after awhile, while the woman is still drooling over the fact that a man tells u he loves you, he might be feeling otherwise. He might have regretted saying that because of the fear of the attachment, entanglement and complication these three words can affect a woman, especially if he said that after both of you had sexual intercourse. Men are not as bastardly as we think they are, they do regret, but they do a great job of not showing it.

Love comes in different aspects. There are love by circumstances, and love by choice. Sometimes a man and a woman can be in a relationship because they fell into a comfort zone, especially if they are married. I've come across many men like that. They get tired of the routine in the relationship, but they are either lazy to find a new partner and start all over the dating nonsense again, or they just
feel that it is pointless to find another woman they can get so comfortable with. For true love, I never believed in it. But as Will Smith said to his son in the movie “the Pursuit of Happiness”, “Never let someone tell you what you can or cannot do, because they cannot do it themselves.” I believe there are people out there very much in love, and they still are until their dying years of age. I applaud them, and I envy them. The saddest part about emotions is, being so jaded you start wondering if you find real love and you can GET the real love, mind you, getting it. Because there are certain times distances, time, place and situations do not allow you to get what you want. You just sort of give up, sit down like me and start writing a story like that which probably means nothing to many happy couples out there, but might relate to some people who have gone through the same thing.

So, if you are always wondering when your Mr. Right or Miss Perfect is going to come along. There is no answer. No amount of love guru and self help books will help you. I'm not going to name specific names of those books because they have the right, and probably had the right amount of experience to teach either sex how to maintain and get a happy ending. I would use to say, follow your heart, but to prevent heartache, use sanity instead of disillusion to look at your relationship. Follow your heart, but heed your head at times. They are after all, connected for a reason. And with that, love, love all you can and want, because you will not remember the love you had in your next life.