Red vs Blue PSA "RUN"

RED vs. BLUE
Season 6 PSA 1
“R.U.N (Racially Unbiased Nation)”
Written by: el Donzo


[Opening Titles]

Church: Hello everyone. As you know, my name is Leonard Church from the ever popular web-series Red vs. Blue.

Donut: And I am Frankl--(is cut off)

Grif: Shut-the-hell-up Pinky!

Donut: (crying) I already told all of you IT’S LIGHTISH RED!!

Church: No, it’s not! Look at the damn cue cards, your lines are in the same color as your armor.

[All look at straight into Camera A]

Grif: Holy-fucking shit! (turns to look at Church)

Church: (looks over at Grif) What?!

Grif: I never noticed the goddamn cue cards before.

Simmons (off camera): They’re new, we just installed them last week.

Grif: It took us six years to get cue cards?!

Sarge (off camera): Actually, we received them from Roosterteeth two years ago, we just didn’t install them until now.

Tucker: (runs into frame and looks into Camera A) Cue cards… BITCHIN‘!!

Burnie (off camera): Okay guys we're getting off topic here. We're gonna restart, ya know take a mulligan on this one.

[STATIC then Black]

Burnie (off camera):  Take two.

[Opening Titles]

Church: Hello everyone. As you know, my name is Leonard Church from the ever popular web-series Red vs. Blue.

Grif: And I’m Dexter Grif, still the star of the series.

Church: As you all know the United States has a new President.

Grif: That’s right, and we wanted to say just how proud we all are that the U.S. could put aside their racial differences and elect Barrack Obama, a black man, as the 44th President of the United States of America.

Church: We also would like this opportunity to congratulate the person who won our own election as Governor of This Crap-Hole Canyon, ladies and gentlemen, Governor-elect Michael J. Caboose.

Caboose: [enters frame and looks into the camera] I would just like to say,… I don’t know how I won.

Grif: Neither do I.

Church: Popular vote, dumbassses…it’s called Democracy.

Sister: Yeah, but who the fuck voted for him?!

Simmons: It was a secret ballot.

Tucker: What the fuck-diddly-uck does that mean?!

Church: OH MY GOD! You’re all retards!

Donut: I demand a recount!!

Doc: He won two to one over everybody, because just about everyone else voted for themselves.

Simmons: We know that Caboose voted for himself because he wrote in blue crayon, it was kinda obvious.

[fade to black. End credits begin]

Caboose (voice-over): As my first act as governor I declare light-ish red a non-color.

Donut (voice-over): Dammit! Dammit!! Dammit!!!

[Gunshots heard]

Church (voice-over): Man, an attempted assignation BEFORE he takes office this term is gonna rock!!

[end]