"War of the Weather"

War of the Weather

By Willow Raven

Plot--- The Sun and Storm Cloud fight over who’s the better weather, then determine to prove it on an unlucky boy.

Settings--- Over a random backyard with a big pine tree

Characters--- A Condescending Storm Cloud
                    An Arrogant Sun
                    Boy with an attitude

[a peaceful afternoon in a random backyard; the sun is high up in a clear sky, except for one single storm cloud looming near it, which would seem absurd to anyone out-and-about]

Storm Cloud: (disgusted) Ugh! Why do you have to be out today? I’m sure the public would much rather I than the likes of you. (huffs stuffily)

Sun: (offended and proud) You! Why, you’d only ruin the entire day! My rays are what people long most for. They bask in my luminescence, NOT yours. Never whatsoever!

Storm Cloud: (chuckles, rumbling just for affect) Your rays wouldn’t be so grand without at least one rain to darken things up a bit. Ha! You’re so arrogant that the next time I pour, why, you’ll drown!

Sun: Me! Why, you only despise everyone other than . . . your kind. At least I have enough self-importance to know that everyone loves me!

Storm Cloud: (skeptical) Oh, like they really do! Please! And how would you know?

Sun: (haughty laugh) Only because everyone hates you! Everyone knows I’m the best. (puffs up arrogantly)

Storm Cloud: (greatly offended) And who’s to say that?! You know, if someone was having a horrid day, yet their friend said, “At least the sun is shining!”? Well, they’d hate you forever!

Sun: (yelling back) And, like I said, you’d ruin the whole day! I bet you that I’m the one the public wants --- not your shadow of doom.

Storm Cloud: Well I think I’m the better weather. (mockingly) A few days without your joy and optimism wouldn’t hurt!

Sun: (threateningly) We’ll see who’s better! We’ll see who’s more loved! I’m the PHILANTHROPIC one! I should just---

[boy comes out of house into backyard and slumps down under the pine tree; Sun and Storm Cloud glance at each other as a grin comes across both their faces]

Storm Cloud: (mischievously) And here’s just the one to prove that I’m the better.

[boy sighs and crosses arms, oblivious to the argument going on above him]

Sun: I’ll show you! (laughs) This boy has no choice but to love me!

[sun shines proudly; boy begins to wipe sweat from his forehead and pant]

Boy: Phew! Never thought it could get this hot in spring . . .

Sun: (stage whisper) Ugh! It’s not working! I have to show “Mr. Doom and Gloom” over here that I’m the better!

[Storm Cloud starts to laugh; Sun glares at him then resumes shining; later, rolls his eyes, exasperated, and reluctantly shines his brightest]

Boy: (screaming) OH! It burns! (shields his face, still yelling) Burning! PUT IT OUT!

Storm Cloud: (sighs, annoyed) Now look what you’ve done. You didn’t have to cause the poor boy harm! I bet I could’ve done SO much better than you . . .

Sun: (angry) Then why don’t you show me.

[storm cloud huffs stuffily, then begins to pour down rain; the boy runs under it, relieved, only to have snow and huge balls of hail pelt him; the Storm Cloud realizes he’s trying too hard, but only too late as a bolt of lightning peal across the sky; boy squeals and runs behind tree]

Sun: (glares at Storm Cloud haughtily) Psh! And you said I caused him harm. Watch and learn.

[Sun shines so bright that when it bounces off the window, it catches on fire the tree the boy is behind]

Storm Cloud: (laughs) I’m watching. Where’s the learning come in? (slight chuckle) I think you’re only proving how much worse you are to the public than me! You’re only proving how insignificant you are to them!
Sun: Oh really! And what have you accomplished? At least I didn’t scare the boy out of his wits!

Storm Cloud: Oh, yes! You only DISINTEGRATED the tree he was cowering behind! How in the world are you better for the weather if you’re not even better for the public?!

Sun: And what do YOU do for the public?! I give them the light they want! The light they LONG FOR! Do they long for your shadow? Never!

Storm Cloud: I could just---

[when the Storm Cloud’s temper breaks, the hail falls faster and more abundantly and the snow forms into huge ice balls; this extreme cold mixes with the warm surrounding it and forms a small tornado]

Sun: Now look what you’ve done! A tornado?! Did you HAVE to?!

[tornado picks up boy and swirls him around, screaming, flailing, and yelling; Storm Cloud and Sun begin a battle of the weather, using the light and rain against each other]

Boy: (screaming) HEEEEEEEEELP! LORD, PLEASE LET ME LIVE! SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEEEEEE!

[when the battle apparently seems to have been resolved/won and both are turned away from each other angrily, the tornado stops, dropping the boy roughly to the ground]

Sun: Now we’ll see whose weather he likes best --- which most certainly shall be mine.

[both of them wait anxiously to see what the boy will say]

Boy: (sighs crossly) And this is why I hate the weather!

[he stalks inside, leaving the Sun and Storm Cloud staring open-mouthed at one another]

AFTER A FEW SECONDS…

Storm Cloud: Want to go get some coffee?

[Sun and Storm Cloud float off, yelling after one another about who will win the race there]