On the Front Lines

         Sitting here in my middle-class home, enclosed within these four walls, without any imminent threats looming, it feels as though the preceding events were just some sort of twisted dream. But even though my brain has pushed these tormenting thoughts to the recesses of my mind, they still return at times, in all their fury. Those men that I’ve left behind, my brothers, they shall not have the pleasure and disease of the after-war. Those were horrid times.
         Lines of my brothers fell one by one. Limbs would be cut off by a saw of bullets. Sweat would dart across my brow and stream down my face as I bore witness to this true apocalypse. But the one sense that still continues too haunt me are the smells of the battlefield. Lead-singed grass, burnt flesh, but worst of all was the smell of fresh strewn blood permeating the air. Knowing that these grand men's families would never get to laugh with them again. Never get to share the good times, again. Never be able to cry with them when times became tough. But through all the squadrons that I’ve been with none really meant anything to me more that Ace Company.
         I shared everything with these men. Laughter and trepidation. The war was hard enough without any happiness and your army brothers were all you had. To us that word was more sacred than any. Brother. They were the only people capable of keeping one another going. And one night was my happiest I had ever had in the service. We drank and played cards. I took the biggest pot with my straight flush. Man, the guys were pissed at me for that. I can’t help, but laugh every time I think about all the reasons they came up for how I cheated on that.
We had stayed hidden until discovered by an opposing company where it was an all out brawl.
         We met in the woods of some uncharted territory. Through the thick cover of trees only a scarce amount of light managed to find it’s way down, filtering through the trees. So little that the sun only highlighted certain small areas. And in the moment they felt as though they were spotlights on the stage to which we were performing a beautiful ballad. A play of colliding bullets, of tragedy and triumph and an expression of a soldier’s conflict in war, of my own perception of war. Even as tragic as it was the sight was nonetheless beautiful. I guess that’s basically what war is. It sort of seems weird to think about it that way, but being of the army’s specialties I would know better than anyone. The exhilaration of having some unknown actor dancing unsuspecting of any harm in your crosshairs…. When that subject drops majestically because of your own doing it’s more beautiful than any sight I had ever experienced.
         Now I found myself almost alone hidden with my rifle behind the natural cover of a fallen tree on a slightly sloped area. There was the area where I was residing, A small clearing then another forested area sloping as if it was a bowl or half-pipe. Adrenaline completely masked my fears and stilled my body. I was calm as I had ever been and I was ready for whatever trial the Lord decided to give me.
         I say almost alone because two men emerged into the clearing to my surprise. I thought I had made it to this area alone. And after a short search they turned to leave and just as they did. One stopped to say, “Wait, did you hear that?”
There behind a rock wall opposite me the last man for the opposing squad stood. I couldn’t believe that he had survived. And before I realized it he was lifting up his Springfield hoping to at least take one man with him. And it was my job to protect my brothers. So with a swinging motion I fired my rifle striking him in the left shoulder. Then I joined my men and we walked calmly over to check his condition. We discovered he was still alive, but bleeding profusely out of his shoulder and more and more progressively from his mouth. So they handed me a colt .22. And I finished it, but with tears streaming.
And to this day I carry that man’s tags. To remind myself, nothing is sacred, everything is allowed.