Everybody Has A Dream

Everybody has a dream. I have no idea what mine might be. I had dreams when I was younger, to be an actor and entertainer, to be loved and to have many friends. I have acheived all of these and still the canvas stretches on, waiting to be filled.
Writing without edits. Improvised monologues. And now a long drawn out pause. Awkward moments are easier without an audience. Life is like one big awkward moment where you yearn for an audience. Who doesn't want to stand up and make connections with the world? If only there only were some kind of manual, some template where one could fill in the blanks and out comes the perfect life, tailor made with all the trimmings.
Getting to the point would probably be appreciated. Of course that's just an assumption. I used to be an actor but I'm a terrible story-teller. I can read someone else's words with conviction and depth, but I can't for the life of me retell any moments of my life with any detail or spins that would captivate an audience. I feel like the one who is always the last to get it. I feel lobotomized. I feel castrated. I have no self confidence. I am very easy to pass by.
And yet, I have this vague but nagging urge to express myself! Ha Ha Ha, (my contribution to the IM generation) this is my monologue. Goodness knows if I will ever return here again.