Left and Leaving

Wake up, Andy.
Wake UP, Andy!
It's the weekend!
No biz cash... no emails... just free time.
I need you awake!
We need to go attack this day!
Plus, I don't want to walk Haze. It's kinda rainy. Will you walk her?
C'mon, please? I'll do it every other time. I'll make it worth your while.
Have some of my cereal. You don't eat breakfast often enough.
It's the most important meal of the day, Andy.
We can go get coffee after you're up.

Get up, Andy.
Get UP, Andy!
I'm sorry things didn't work out with us, baby.
It's hard, but I feel like you lost faith in something bigger than us.
When I terminated that pregnancy, and things fell apart, you ran to the bottle and I ran to the rooms.
Everyone asks about you. Everyone worries.
I know you're drinking too much, Andy.
All those beer bottles in the trash.
You should really recycle them.
My sponsor told me not to talk to you until you're willing to get healthy again.
Your voice on my machine makes me sad, and angry.
Why won't you just get sober?
You'll be doing drugs before too long, Andy, I know it.
Just be careful, okay? Please, take good care of you.

Hey Andy.
HEY, Andy!
ANDY!
Where are you, babe? What are you getting into?
Why are there needles in the house, boo?
You know you can't live like this. You know better.
Hearts can't take the pressure you're putting yours under.
Why is there a needle in your arm, Andy?
Open your eyes. Don't say goodbye yet.
I'm not ready yet. You're being selfish.
You know my dad died 9 months ago. You were at his memorial with me.
We need you to be around, Andy. Please.

Good bye, Andy.
I SAID GOOD BYE.
I'm furious with you. You have broken our hearts, and you're not even here to beat up.
You left. You just UP and LEFT!
And now we are stuck here, missing you, mourning you.
Take the stupid needle out of your stupid arm, Andy!
What about Google? What about Moms and Pops?
What about Rob and Chrissy and Marisa? What about Devan and Isaiah?
This legacy you're leaving, that's not you. That's some dumb junkie. Not you.
You're too smart to die like this, Andy! Goddamn!
Oh, Andy. God, I miss you. I so miss you.
I wish I had no regrets, but every time I think of you I'm flooded with "if I had only"s.
I'm not doing too well down here, but I'm getting by.
I still didn't pick up a drink. You'd be proud of me.
I love you with everything.
We're having a memorial for you on Friday, Andy. I wish that it wasn't that way.
Maybe this is a dream, and I'll wake up. You'll still believe in sobriety, I'll still be in bed with you.
I'll spoon feed you half my shredded wheat. I'll even take Haze out so you can rest.
I know you're probably not feeling too well. Me either.


Rest in Peace, Andy.
05/01/1979 - 07/04/2008