Make You Smile

He couldn’t look at her. Not after those words left her silky, luscious lips and paraded into his ears.  Glancing at the floor he begged the tears lining his eyes not to fall. They hovered for a moment, unsure of whom to listen to. Do they listen to his head and cling for mercy to a solitary eyelash? Or do they respect his heart and dive down his cheeks, leaving footprints of his sadness tracked on his skin?

Dragging his sleeve across his face he quickly caught them as they freefell. His jumper was instantaneously soaked. From the corner of his eye her body cast a shadow along the room. He had prayed that she would grant him a small wisp of dignity and leave. She had other ideas. He was never one for words. He would spend hours on end, often until dawn, lost in his own fantasy land. His head was pulled out of the clouds the minute her alarm clock rang out from the bedroom, signaling that her dewy face and lethargic eyes would meet his in a morning grumble. As she fumbled into the shower he stumbled to bed. Leaving her with a trickle of doubt in her head.

The seconds dragged by. What felt like hours of sitting in that bitter laden atmosphere was only seconds, the echo of those dreadful words still bouncing off of the sound waves that left her cherry lips. Finally mustering the courage to focus, he glanced up. Her molten eyes penetrated his, hers also awash with tears. Her mascara began to drip lifeless, murky droplets down her cheeks. Her already pale face gleamed ashen as the black contrasted against her polished skin. Despite all of this, to him she was still beautiful. Although they had been vocally disconnected from each other for such a long time he still couldn’t help but admire her. Usually, her peachy, sunny skin usually glowed with bliss, even if she was in the foulest of moods. It was complimented by her coffee tinted eyes. Always glinted with initiative and drive. She looked different today. He wasn’t sure if it was because this was the first time in months that he had sat and took a good, long, hard look at her. He was so used to them living in parallel worlds under the same roof. She would float backwards and forwards between work, not so much as a whisper exchanged between them both. During the day he lived in slumber, comatose to the sun and life around him. At night they sat numbly staring at the screen, allowing any sense of their former wit rot with the drivel of the broadcasting service.

Then she would pace. Anything that needed cleaned she cleaned, while he sat ignorantly on the royal blue sofa. To him this was the norm. Before long she would go to bed and he would be left on his own, staring at the TV, the window or anything that came to view. Until dawn glimmered over the skyline, tinting the rooftops with a warm nectarine glow. Then it would begin again. The shower blasted and the mattress thumped, ready for a new day.

Her eyes were fixated on him. She found it difficult to believe that he had not yet spoken. As her eyes glimmered over his weary, hunched body she pondered. She often lay in bed at night, filled with dread for the next morning and confusion for why he never slept next to her anymore. Often she found herself awake for hours as the clock hands rolled through the night, thinking about – well everything. Recently the thoughts that flourished in her pretty mind were not so exquisite. As she walked to the bus stop, floated around work and ambled lifelessly home again only one solo notion anguished her mind. She tried to incinerate it, but it would reform and come back with a vengeance. Sometimes it didn’t burden her at all. Other days it dominated her thoughts, whipping out any form of sense that tried to barge its way past.

Her mantra was broken as he sighed. As his eyes met hers she longed for the past. The days that flashed by so quickly. The days spent drowning lustfully in each others hearts as they went on a journey of discovery. When conversation was sharp, surprises loomed endless like the clouds and something fresh was exposed each day. When darkness beckoned, they conflicted, spending every hour they could find talking about how the world ticked and why the human race was the worst invention ever to be laid on a blueprint. Now it was a struggle to even provide a tender good night kiss on the cheek. All this could be seen as it danced around his warm, melted chocolate eyes. How she yearned for those gorgeous pools to once again look into hers with desire, and for his hands to trail her body once more, touching every part that his fingertips could reach. However the spark was dead. Whenever their delicate skin brushed, the pit of her stomach sunk and a shiver of doubt sizzled down her spine.

“I want you to stay.” The words pierced the air like a syringe perforating a vein. For a split second her heart froze, not expecting any words to be exchanged tonight. His eyes begged half heartedly, knowing what the answer would be. He knew his attempts would fall on deaf ears but something deep inside willed him to try. Despite the staleness in his mind he still harboured a small flame of affection. He was adamant that she did too. And it was true. But that flame flickered for the love that was now lost. The love they once shared that was now beautifully broken. Neither of them would forget it. Your first love could never be erased.

As if they were connected telepathically they both knew what had to be done. He nodded his head as her eyes silently broke his heart, relaying the answer he already knew. She didn’t have to say a word. Stretching down her hand nestled on the handle of the suitcase as she hauled it off of the floor. His whole life was in the suitcase, packed up neatly and about to be transported out of his life forever. A final tear strolled down both of their faces, signalling the loss of their hearts and revealing that despite all of this they would miss each other. Looking at him for one last time, she turned and walked out of the room.

Nearing the end of the lobby she slowly prised the door open and entered the brisk, midnight air. As she shut the door, she closed the lid on her being. Her whole life was in that house, and she was now leaving it behind. The tears fell thick and furiously as she stumbled blindly down the path. He was waiting for her. His baby blue eyes gleamed in the night as the stars danced in them. Dropping the suitcase she fell into his open arms as they engulfed her body. The warmth of his embrace consolidated her spirit as it wept. He soothed her quietly, desperately wanting her to be at peace. She stood back as she looked deeply into his face. A broken glance was exchanged as she rubbed her black eyes sorrowfully. Reaching across to catch a falling tear it splattered onto his milky skin. Allowing it to seep down his finger he lowered his hand onto her swollen stomach and caressed fondly. Her body jerked at his touch. Her velvety eyes told him the answer to the question that tingled on his lips. She shook her head, confirming it further. Guilt spread across her features instantly. He hushed her gently as he pulled her back into his arms. He knew the tiny, precious life within her was not to be called his own.

“I couldn’t tell him.” she spluttered wretchedly, muffling slightly as she cried into his chest. He held her tightly, slowly rubbing her back, relaying through the smooth, tranquil strokes that he would take care of her, no matter what. The thought of raising another man’s seed hindered him somewhat, but he knew the second her eyes devoured his cerulean blue’s that it was insignificant. She looked at him doubtfully, not quite believing that he was willing to make this sacrifice for her. She couldn’t expect him to swoop her into his arms, after dropping her personal luggage at his feet. It was unfair, unjust and erroneous. He read the uncertainty scribbled on her face as if he was reading her life from a book. Placing his strong, chalky hands on her nimble shoulders he gripped them compassionately and looked deep into her soul.

“I just want to make you smile.” His eyes smouldered with adoration. His cheeks flush compassionately. Standing on the fine line between her new and old life, she hesitated; but only for a second. Before she knew it a warm rush sprung from her heart and voyaged to the corners of her lips. As her eyes glittered a smile graced her elusive face. Finally setting his eyes upon the one thing he had wanted so dearly he returned his own. Feeling her heart melt at such a beautiful sight she sought his hand. Clasping it securely he looked at her for reassurance, not wanting to rush such an epic turning point. As she nodded her head slowly he bent down to pick up her case. Hand in hand they walked down the street together, out of the old and into the new.