Please give feedback. This is up mostly just for advice on what she should do... |
She sits and wonders when the confusion will end. All of this inner turmoil is killing her. She doesn't know who she is anymore, or where her faith lies. When she prays, it seems as if her words only go up to the ceiling. If she would have known how he would have affected her, she never would have started to talk to him. The whole ordeal started in a chat room, and innocent talking. Soon, she added him to her MSN account and to Myspace. Oh, how perfect he seemed to be. Little did she know the kind of past this pixel on her computer had. After they had been talking for about a week, he started to act a little out of the ordinary, showing her a different side to himself. It was early in the morning hours, maybe around 5 A.M., when he started to tell her about his life. He described some of the horrible things that had been done to him as a child, all leading up to the big shock. She wasn't ready for the news or what would happen afterwards. He explained to her that he had killed one of his best friends, that she had died in his arms. He was never sent to jail or anything because he had plead insanity. After he had finished with his life story, he started to breathe really heavily. He was giving her an ultimatum, either tell him that she loved him or to just leave and never talk to him again. She had no idea of what to do, with the absence of sleep, her mind wasn't functioning properly. He started to complain about his chest hurting, then it sounded like he was having a heart attack. Since she didn't know where he lived or anything, she couldn't call an ambulance or anything. Not knowing what else to do, she told him that she loved him, knowing that it was a lie. It seemed to her as if he would have died if she hadn't of said that, and she would feel responsible for it. So, after calming down a little he whispered that she had saved him, by telling him that she loved him. She was so freaked out about what had just happened that she started to hyperventilate. He told her to breathe in through her nose and breathe out her mouth. She listened and it sort of calmed her down. She was so worn out from it that she was physically exhausted. She had to get off the computer and try to sleep. One of her friends knew about the situation and he told her that it was probably best to just stop talking to him. So, she deleted him from everything. She was ready to forget about him. Then came the message. He asked why she had left him, why she just cut him off. She told him that she couldn't be the person he needed her to be, but he didn't really understand that. He sent a message back saying that she had just used "pretty words" to confuse him. He wanted to know why she had said something that she hadn't meant. So, that's when they started talking again. Another week passed, and she had found out a few more negative things about his personality. On a Saturday, they spent almost 10 hours talking to each other on microphone. During this time, he kept saying that she should stop talking to him because he kept asking her to do something that she didn't want to do. As in showing herself to him. He became persistent in asking and she kept saying no. He then said that he was hurting her, so that he had to hurt himself. He apparently got a knife and preceded to cut himself twice before getting a razor, despite her desperate pleas for him to stop. He cut himself one last time, and then he finally listened to her. But since his arms were bleeding, he needed to somehow clean them up. So, to cause himself more pain he got alcohol and poured it on his wrists, wincing in pain. He did it a few more times, and she was yelling at him to stop once again. A couple of hours after he had stopped, he was still talking to her. He said that he didn't remember what had happened just an hour or two before. She was shocked, she thought that he might have been lying. She told him to look at his arms, and that he would most likely figure it out. He said he knew that much, but he wanted to know what had happened. She told him she didn't want to talk about it, so he just let it go. She ended the “relationship” 2 more times after that. She was ready to move on and not ever talk to him again, but she started to miss him. But she was remembering all the problems it had caused her, in her faith in God and the bad vibe she got from her gut about him. But being her stupid self, she emailed him saying that she missed him. He replied that if he would disregard the past and the hurt, would she go back out with him. Of course she said yes. For the next few days, they talked. Then came the doubts again. The wonder of whether or not he would hurt her later on down the road.... What should she do? |