from the inside out

there was a cold dark voice in the background
all the images from the past few years came reeling through my mind
memories and all the pathetic excuses
the way you used to read to me at night
made my mind find refuge in the things you never said
it's a long ride home and the train is leaving now
i guess it was an adventure worth taking
i feel like the life has been sucked out of my soul
and as i walk down these train tracks
i try to remember why
why it all came crashing down
tired eyes and one too many drinks
locked inside a pretty fantasy
and what did you mean
when you said we had all the time in the world
left to the chance that you could change the stars
you said i had a smile like the sun
and there we were sipping coffee
trying to find the meaning to the words in your head
i felt like tiny drops of rain
so small and gone unnoticed
by the mastory of your soulfindings
we used to take walks down to the marketplace
buy flowers for just two dollars a piece
talk about the meaning of hope and destiny
and pretend that we were living in a dream
i think we did
we ignored all the problems that kept laying there
like a torn piece of poetry
you used me to find yourself
to find the purpose in your life
to help you distinguish the old from the new
and put some life in to your tired existance
i try to remember how it felt
the times we sat in fancy resteraunts
and talked for hours over a cheesy glass of wine
you said the future was for cynics
and for people with no hope at being happy
but we were never really happy
just pretending to have a better purpose
and pretending like it was meant to be so dysfunctional
i guess i always had a weakspot
for the ones who could destroy me from the inside out