Intro to Dialogue - Assignment Week 2

FIRST EXAMPLE: BAD DIALOGUE
Justin and Lisa slowly walked to the front door of the small cottage on Silver Lake. It was a dark night with no moon. Justin was dressed in black and wearing a Barack Obama mask. Lisa was also dressed in black and wearing a Hillary Clinton mask. Their masks were picked because of their popularity, not wanting the cashier to remember the purchase the day before.

"Did you catch the Green Bay game?"

"How about that shuttle pass that Favre made as he was falling down?"

"And a great catch by the receiver. He had to reach for it with one hand."

Lisa said, "I got a lock pick in my pocket to use to open the door."

Lisa pulled a lock pick out of her jeans pocket and meticulously jiggled the pick for about 30 seconds before turning the doorknob open. Justin stepped inside and Lisa quickly followed and closed the door behind her. They both turned on their small LED flashlights to look around.

Justin went from room to room and filled his black pillowcase with an IPOD, a Dell laptop and a couple digital cameras.

Lisa headed for the master bedroom. On the dresser she saw a walnut jewelry box. She used the pick to open the jewelry box. She pulled out each drawer and dumped the pearls and diamonds into her black pillowcase.

Justin and Lisa met at the back door and quietly exited the house. They quickly crept down to the dock. They sat their bags into the canoe and climbed into the canoe, Lisa in front and Justin in the rear.

SECOND EXAMPLE: NO DIALOGUE

Justin and Lisa slowly walked to the front door of the small cottage on Silver Lake. It was a dark night with no moon. Justin was dressed in black and wearing a Barack Obama mask. Lisa was also dressed in black and wearing a Hillary Clinton mask. Their masks were picked because of their popularity, not wanting the cashier to remember the purchase the day before.

Lisa pulled a lock pick out of her jeans pocket and meticulously jiggled the pick for about 30 seconds before turning the doorknob open. Justin stepped inside and Lisa quickly followed and closed the door behind her. They both turned on their small LED flashlights to look around.
Justin went from room to room and filled his black pillowcase with an IPOD, a Dell laptop and a couple digital cameras.

Lisa headed for the master bedroom. On the dresser she saw a walnut jewelry box. She used the pick to open the jewelry box. She pulled out each drawer and dumped the pearls and diamonds into her black pillowcase.

Justin and Lisa met at the back door and quietly exited the house. They quickly crept down to the dock. They sat their bags into the canoe and climbed into the canoe, Lisa in front and Justin in the rear.

THIRD EXAMPLE:USEFUL DIALOGUE

Justin and Lisa slowly walked to the front door of the small cottage on Silver Lake. It was a dark night with no moon. Justin was dressed in black and wearing a Barack Obama mask. Lisa was also dressed in black and wearing a Hillary Clinton mask. Their masks were picked because of their popularity, not wanting the cashier to remember the purchase the day before.

Lisa pulled a lock pick out of her jeans pocket and meticulously jiggled the pick for about 30 seconds before turning the doorknob open. Justin stepped inside and Lisa quickly followed and closed the door behind her. They both turned on their small LED flashlights to look around.


Lisa said, "Don't forget the family photos."

"I know. They're on the laptop."

Justin went from room to room and filled his black pillowcase with an IPOD, a Dell laptop and a couple digital cameras.

Lisa headed for the master bedroom. On the dresser she saw a walnut jewelry box. She used the pick to open the jewelry box. She pulled out each drawer and dumped the pearls and diamonds into her black pillowcase. She thought, Mom looked lovely in these pearls.

Justin and Lisa met at the back door and quietly exited the house. They quickly crept down to the dock. They sat their bags into the canoe and climbed into the canoe, Lisa in front and Justin in the rear.