Letter to my dad

This letter is written to be saved until I have left this world.  Some people write wills.  I have nothing to will, but all  my life I have not wanted to leave things undone.  We never know when it is time to step out of this life.  So please don't allow this letter to effect you negitive.  I am just making sure that these are here in case they are needed in the future SOMEDAY.

December 28, 2007

Dear Daddy:

You are the one person that I do have a lot to say sorry for. I know that an illness made you the way you were, and that by the time you see this you will not be able to comprehend it. You would not be able to now.

I am so sorry that I have not seen you for so long. I am not sure that I shouldn’t be angry with you as my siblings. Dad, I know that you have never been in control of who you were, so you tried to control us.  You were so hard on us, and at times even worse on your only son.  If you had control of your self, I know that you would not have said that things that you said about your children. Your daughters and your son.

Dad, God made it so that what we do, comes back on us.  I would be there for you, but I am not much better in controlling my life. I would never call my children names or beat them, but the world around seems to be spinning out of control.

Robert and I are not together now, so I am glad that we did not take guardian ship of you.  It would have been another pain for you.

Mom still loves you, and I still find letters about you sometimes at her house. I know that you hurt her more than I ever knew, but she only divorced you to keep her grand daughter. The social services would have taken her.  I know that my dad deep in your heart you did not want that

I don’t want to hurt you, and I have loved you through out the rears that you made me shed. I want you to know that seeing you so sick is not a good thing for me.

I want you to know that I understand that you were sick, and dad I take medicine to stop the sickness of anxiety and depression myself.  I don’t remember about my life, but I remember the good about you.

I love you, Daddy.  Please forgive me for leaving you alone, but I don’t have a car to travel a state away.

Daddy, if I go before you do, know that I love you regardless of anything I remember or forgotten from the past.

Love from your little girl.
Ida Matilda Wright