Claus vs. the Bunny

On Christmas morning I awoke
and I knew it was no joke-
there were no presents under the tree,
that moment stole my yearly glee-

In my saddest hour I saw Santa at the mall,
twas the scariest sight I ever saw,
clad in his black boots and Harley gear
with a biker woman standing near-

There it was a big, black eye,
I couldn't help but scream and cry!

Once I regained my self I just had to ask,
"Santa how did this happen?"
He sat me down and regaled his story,
"Son," he started, "don't let this dampen your vision of me,
I had a fight with the Easter bunny."

"Santa, how could you?!" I couldn't help but show my aggrevation,
"the children love you and to them, I think you owe an explanation!"

"It wasn't my fault you see,
that darned ol' Easter bunny,
he took my sleigh as a prank
and made my reinder a Christmas potion, of which they drank"-

"So this morn' when I awoke,
there was no sleigh or reindeer to provoke-
At first I sighed and tried my best to make them stir
what happend afterwards is a blur,
but to this I can concur,"

"It was that varmint, I know its true
he told me in a heated blast
that he was sick and tired of coming in last."

"We rumbled and we tumbled til' we wore out,"
"Santa,' I didn't mean it'," the bunny did shout,
"When the Ms. came out to see the fuss
she broke up our mutual ruckus,"

"When it was over we talked, I waved him goodbye-
and then he punched me in the eye!"

"There's the story little lad and just be glad,
for you may have no presents this Christmas morn,
but don't look so forlorn, Eat drink and be merry
for you still have your family, which I know you love so dearly."