Here's To Sweet Dreams...

I've always loved the way he walks in. Theres never been a moment that I would ever think Pit would leave me. After waiting 7 years for him, I've proved my loyalty.Yet, lately I've been having thesethoughts aboutwhat I missed in the world, what all the dope luxuries could never afford. I love himand even though world seems to decay right infront of our eyes, its easy just to close our eyes and silence the police sirens late night lullaby. Pit interupts my daydreaming in his abrupt way, "Yo, babe them porkchops was off da' chain, Dat's da shit a brotha' missed in da' cage", rubbing his belly then advancing to me.He grazes my face with his overly harsh hands, and leans down giving me his goodbye kiss on my forehead.I stare through him wondering if Jesus meant my destiny to be here, right here in the middle of Oppresion, pain and self-loathing he grabs his skully and paper sack headedto one of his "Trap Houses". That the shit that hits the bottom of my stomach, I stretch out my handsto the cieling seeing all the way to heaven cause I am falling outof the illusion of what love was when I was 22. Sure, he's an excellent lover, and even though he deal he's always provided me a settled lifestyle even when he was inside. It's just I gave up so much, a track scholarship to Michigan State, and the 7 years I waited visting my man caged up like a fucking dog in a kennel I waited, and watchedas I saw his manhood, and pride drained right out of his soul. His tears fell hard on the prison floors and flowed right into my dreams. I know he's home, and as his woman I am supposed to feel secure, but I only feel emptiness inside my life. I put on his t-shirt to feel close to him when he is away, play dat' soulful righteous shit to make sure I never forget how deep the universe really is. I even lay exhausted from the worry of never seeing Pit again some nights.Oh, theres his key in the door, He's home takes his shower and takes off of his fear of the unknown. He's home and I am home and I guess...we just are...whatever...we've been. The night overwhelms me, I can't leave him he needs me...but here isto sweet dreams.