A Hundred Bucks Tuning Up a '73 Gremlin

First, if you don’t own a 1973 Gremlin, go find one. Don’t worry, junkyards all over are littered with them. After you have found one that’s complete, buy it and take it home.

Purchase the following items:

Air Filter
Gas Filter
Oil Filter
5 Quarts 10W-40 Motor Oil
Spark Plugs
Spark Plug Wires
Distributor Cap

Place drain pan underneath car. Crawl underneath the front end and remove the oil drain plug, allowing the oil to completely drain. Meanwhile, do the rest of the tune-up. Get the spark plugs and wires. Set aside.  Remove the old spark plug wire and remove the first spark plug. Set aside. Get a new spark plug and thread it in, using your fingers. Tighten a touch further with socket wrench. NOTE: DO NOT OVERTIGHTEN. Place the OLD spark plug wire back on the new spark plug. Repeat for each cylinder, making sure to put the spark plug wires back on the proper spark plugs. Retrieve the new spark plug wires. Pull the first OLD wire off from its plug. Find a new plug wire closest in length to the old one. Pull the old plug wire off the distributor cap. Replace it with the new one, plugging it into the distributor cap and onto the spark plug. Repeat this process for the remaining plug wires.
Get the new distributor cap. Pull the #1 cylinder wire off from the old distributor cap. Locate the mark on the  new distributor cap and plug #1 wire in there. Switch the remaining  wires. Remove the old distributor cap and replace it with the new one.
Replace the old air filter with the new one. Get fuel filter. Locate fuel filter on engine. Take the pliers and squeeze one of the clips. Move it past the end of the fuel filter tube. Pull fuel line off from filter. Repeat on the other end. Install the new fuel filter.
By now, your oil should be completely drained. REPLACE OIL DRAIN PLUG FIRST! Carefully remove the drain pan full of oil and set aside. Get oil filter and lightly oil the o-ring in the top of it. Thread oil filter on, being careful not to crossthread it. Tighten until snug. DO NOT OVERTIGHTEN. Remove the oil fill cap on the engine and fill with just enough oil to reach the ‘full’ mark on the oil dipstick. Replace cap.
Inspect your work. Remove jack stands. Get in car and start. Return ’73 Gremlin to junkyard. Sell it back, making  a hundred dollar profit. Pat yourself on the back for a job both profitable and well-done. Take your best friend out to dinner and tell them a ’you’re not going to believe this’ story about your little tune-up project. Bask in your newfound fame and faint when you get a call to do your own car repair show on Spike TV.