Unexpected Answers

    There is nothing quite like the wonder of a child. Like the first joy filled “It’s snowing!!” followed in the same breath with the same amount of joy mixed with a little anticipation “When can we go sledding??” Even though the ground is still too warm for the snow to stick, there is still the knowledge of what is to come soon. They do not live in the past, nor much in the future, it is now that concerns them most.
    Maybe we should take a page out of the book from children. They will tell you what they are thinking most of the time. They will make sure you know how they feel. At the moment my daughter’s favorite saying is “I am mean with you!” She may not have the words correct, but she gets her point across. When do we lose that? When do we start thinking so hard before we speak?
    Sometimes I am so worried about what is the proper way to raise my children so that they will be well mannered and everyone will think I have perfect children that I forget they are just children. I expect them to be little adults and they remind me daily that they are not. I should live in the now. Have fun. Laugh. Get out and play in the rain.
         I pray often for patience when it comes to my offspring. And more often than not, I am faced with something that pushes my buttons even more. I cannot understand why someone whom I love so much can manage to make me so angry. But there is something more, these children truly are the love of my life and I forget that all too often.
         These are the days I want to remember when my children are older. I have already forgotten what it felt like to hold them as infants. What it felt like when they first smiled at me. Knowing there will never be another chance to get this back has finally hit me hard. There may be thousands of pictures, but they cannot describe the feelings these moments bring about. I want to remember the laughter from those terrific puppy kisses not just what it looks like.
         Then I realize I may have been given the answer to my prayer. I have been given the inextinguishable desire to write. Maybe this has been set on my heart so that I will be able to record every laugh and fight that goes on in everyday life. Perhaps I am just to journal my thoughts and feelings each day so that I can look back and recall the joy they give me each day. Maybe no one is to even supposed to read this. With this reminder, then perhaps my patience will grow as well. I have to remember that these fleeting moments pass too quickly for me to waste my time being angry. What would my life be like without them?
         Empty.
         Silence.
         What would I fill the void with? TV? Books? There is nothing that would even begin to compare. This love I have for my children is like nothing I have ever experienced before. And nothing I will ever experience again. All this I will remember because I have it written down. Because, unfortunately, when it rains it pours, but the downpour is just for a moment, then it is forgotten, just like everything else.