It started in the spring

  It's not hard to be in love with two people the hard part is keeping it a secret. I wouldn't say that I am in love with two peolpe but I am definitly in love with one of them. When I hear his voice everything inside me quivers, I can't hardly breath because he takes my breath away, and when he looks at me it is as if no one else is around. His eyes melt my heart, he makes me feel things that I have never felt before, I know that it is wrong to feel this way about him, but I can't stop myself I have tried god knows I have tried but I can't imagine my life without him now. This is my story, it all started one spring day when he called me nothing unusal for him to call since he and my husband are friends and his wife and I are friends, then the conversation turned to a different one he wanted to see me and he was on his way, I had always been attracted to him but never really thought that it would ever be more than that, I had the occasional daydream about what it would be like to be in his arms or feel his gentle touch but never thought that these daydreams would ever come true. When he pulled into the driveway my heart was racing, what was I going to do there would be so many consequences of our actions, when he stepped up on the porch I knew that I could not resist his touch or turn him away I wanted him so bad that I was trembling, from the moment he touched me and told me that he wanted me I knew there was no turning back. I told him that we couldn't do this because it was wrong and he told me that he knew that I wanted him and that he wanted me and had for a while, he said that he could remember the first time that he realized he wanted me and how he could see it in my eyes that I felt the same way. We went into the house while the kids stayed outside and played and he kissed me, when his lips touched mine I was so confused how could I do this we had all been friends for so long and do everything together our children play together, how could we do this but I couldn't say no because I wanted him as much as he wanted me. He pulled me to him and pulled my pants down, he caressed my legs and we started to have sex in the livingroom floor then I heard one of the children crying and told him that we had to stop because I had to check on the children and he had to leave because my husband would be home soon, he didn't want to go but knew that he had to. That night all I could think about is what had happened and what was I going to do I couldn't get him out of my head, his touch,his kiss, the way he looked at me and the way he felt inside of me.
The next day I called him I couldn't take it I had to see him but I was so nervous how could we do this, how could we keep this a secret and how could we pretend that we didn't want to tear each others clothes off everytime we were around each other. When he got there I had the children in the diningroom eating lunch, I told them I had to go outside and so him where something was as soon as we were behind the garage and out of sight we were going at it we couldn't keep our hands off of each other he smelled so good, he felt so good, but again we had to stop because of the children, maybe this was a sign that this wasn't supposed to happen. When he left I figured that, this would be the last time because it just wasn't meant to be, days and weeks went by we all spent tome together and we would share the occasional look at each other but that was all. There had been other times where we had tried but something always happened like it wasn't meant to be, then one night when my husband was working night shift he called, his wife was also at work and his sister was watching the kids and he was on his way, my children were all in bed. I told him to come in the backdoor I would leave it unlocked, I couldn't believe this was happening I wanted this so much. When I heard him pull up I wrapped up in a sheet and meet him at the back door, he followed me to the bedroom where we stayed for he next four hours, this was by far the greatest sex I had ever had and when he held me in his arms I knew that I was falling in love with him, but I also knew that all we could ever be is what we were at that moment there would never be a future for us because we both have other lives and other responsbilities, families that we had to be there for and spouses that we had promised our lives to, and that no matter how we felt about each other niether of us would ever leave our spouses because even though we have betrayed them we still both loved them, we may not be in love with them, because how could we be in love with them and be doing what we were doning but we loved them and wouldn't leave them. For months we continued to find time when we could be alone and then one day when I was coming home from work I called him and told him that we had to stop I was crying because my heart was breaking but it was just so hard to know how I fellt and see him with his wife I felt so guilty and I knew if I didn't stop this now I would never be able to and how could we keep doing this and not get caught. I came home and went to bed, he called me he knew something was wrong and didn't say it but he knew I was crying, he told me he would see me and we hang up the phone, I called one of my friends she knew everything and I told her what had happened and she told me that I had to do what was best for me, that night I cried myself to sleep how was I going to make it through this, I couldn't the next day I called him and told him that I had changed my mind I wanted him and no matter how wrong it was I coludn't stop wanting him, from then on we found times about once a month when we could get a chance to be together then one day we found out that his wife had been getting a little to close to someone at work who was also in our group of friends, he was crushed to find out that this was going on even though we had been doing the same thing, he had never made her feel like she was second he had always put her first he loved her, a lot happened and we decided that it would be best if we stopped because he wanted to make his marriage work he loved his wife and didn't want to hurt her in any way so the night he told me this I decided that I would move on be faithful to my husband and try to get this man out of my head and out of my heart he would always be my best friend and I would never regret the times that we shared but this is what he wanted and I loved him enough that I only wanted what was going to make him happy. Meanwhile his wife who is in all ways my best friend is asking me for advice how could I tell her what to do, when I was probably at this point more in love with her husband than she was, but I knew that he wanted her so I incouraged her to make things work with him but to stay true to herself I love her like she is my sister and only want what makes her happy and what is best for their family. I thuoght that things were over and had kind of come to terms with it, I still wanted him but knew that was all it was going to be, then one night he called and wanted me to meet him, he knew I wouldn't tell him no so I called my friend and she brought her sister over to watch the children, I called my husband at work and told him that she and I were going shopping and her sister was going to watch the kids. We meet him in town and she took us back to his house where we stayed for a couple of hours when she came back in, I told him I had to go he didn't want me to go but I had to, I waited until he got out of the shower before I left and I asked him what about us not doing this anymore and if this was the last time he tried to hide his face and aviod answering me but I asked him to look at me and when he did I knew it wouldn't be, he kissed me and I melted again, every wall I had built had fallen at that moment, and I knew that no matter what happens I will always love him, since then we haven't had sex but there isn't a day that goes by that we don't talk to each other I asked him what I was going to do when he gets tired of me and he asked me why would he get tired of me I explained that eventually he will because nothing lasts forever not even mind blowing, awesome sex, his response was "wanna bet". I don't know if he realizes how I fell about him and other than I know that he wants to have sex with me whenever he can, I don't exactlly know how he feels about me but as long as we can continue this I will.