What once was I

Floating in there
Are empty lights
Burn out and useless
Without meaning or purpose
Once were thoughts hopes ideas and meanings
Shining brightly in my mind
Hold my smile a wide
It was all stitched together
Perfectly aligned
With pricey and rich strings
Keeping it all a put
Yet years pass
And soaked my mind
The lights that once illuminated burn out
The strings get rusted
But atlas
My mind cannot grasp
The golden strings
That has held my logic and creativity
So close to me

I will not take this in a bed
Letting it shut down
No I will not
My harden heart
Will start
The rage
Sealed in my minds cage
Push me for a year longer
A year stronger
So my fingers can pass on the once fruitful pages
Of poetry
Symphonies
And pure joy of every idea
Once dreamt of
Thought of which my never corrupted my days
I was a youthful sage
With thought

Now I take out the tubes that keep me alive
I throw this shame filled pan
For my plan to be
Involves only me
I pass the ancient others
With lives so destroyed
Without a feeling of joy
Left for dead
Rotting in bed
But then I run
And I grab my pants
Look for the keys
Only to realize they have left me
Immobile

I got there at a quarter to three
Day was still young
Yet I was not
My adventure alone had taken me too long to fathom
Thus I will tell you
The red house with white door
And polished hardwood floor
Then my kin sees me like sin
Tells me to go back home
But it was not home
Only tomb
A waiting room
For Pluto to come visit me
To see my mind a mush
And soul crushed
Yet I continue on

My wise old eyes
Are not what they once were
The world is painted over in confusion
Nothing is what it once was
I knew this was to happen
Oh I knew
I knew
But some how
My brow got low
My anger tends to grow
When you stop me
To see
The seed of my once love
This tree has planted and grown
Yet they say
The apple does not fall far
With roar in my younger tone
I demand to come in
To see my youngest kin
Within these closed in wall
Two generations of nothing
Will become something

He sits without a battle
No real fear
This is what I fought for
To give end to war
Only for the peace core
Bewildered and thinking it a bore
Teenagers and video game gore
Bah
I think they are looking for a fight
To win the right
For something not seen
Not known
Not acknowledged
This is look to the tomorrow
Not the past
Not a self-written mask
Thus I sat down
I spoke
So clear
My spoke word went near
His heart
To let him know what I fought for
Because it was no one war

Thus I pass this golden string
Down the line
One last time
So that maybe my hope
My dreams
Can be realized
In a another body
Another time
Another life
To make his children
As happy as I hoped mine
So I send this kind gesture
To all that read this page
Please feel my heart in
For that is all that is left
And wait for my grandson
For a poem of regret
Will not be his burden
As it once was mine.