An Unrecieved Letter

I did not wish to own you. Yet it does not matter what I wish any longer. Till the day I die I will know how I have hurt you and it will haunt me even in death.I did not know who I was and I wasn't even close to being what they were. All of your pain and confusion is my fault, I want nothing from you because I did not work for it. I had an idea that maybe if I left we could start over, but I realize how childish that is. I ruined the only good thing in my life, I hurt the one I loved and this knowledge will plague my existence. If in the end you hate me I will understand. Time destroys mountains and time will destroy this.There is no solace for you in my arms because I am your pain, your pike in the chest.You are the victim of my cruel intentions and I cannot forgive myself. I regret many, many things but trying for love, even though I've failed, I do not regret. I lose you, my dreams will always be dreams. Today I understand my mistake, it well alive in my mind throbbing like a wound.Your voice in my ear as I sleep. Your tight arms around me protecting me from the wind and rain. The smell you have when you wake. So many things I miss with you, long nights spent in sweat and lovemaking. Late night talks on taboo topics. A simple place I pass by each day always receives a special memory. With you came the knowledge of love, passion and desire. What I miss the most though is the laughing, I miss laughing with you. Good-bye Neolegato, one day maybe I will see you again. I'll catch a glance and make no sound, don't disturb the peaceful, I don't want to startle you. I'll let you go about your merry way with a following eye. In my mind I'll reply to remembered memories and I'll say, "You had it once, and then threw it away. On mans trash another's treasure." A simple but complex reply for a simple and complex feeling.