Sleep

Some science is worthless. Have you ever seen a scientist studying someone who is sleeping? They hook them up to a bunch of machines and monitor their alpha waves, theta waves, beta waves, delta activity, etc. with EEGs and brain scanners. Why are scientists doing this? We sleep, so what? Who gives a shit? Are they trying to find a way so that we don’t have to sleep anymore so that we can work 24/7? Are they trying to create a magic drug that allows us to sleep better? It’s called weed, champ. The synthetic drugs that have been created to give you a good night’s sleep are a little ridiculous. When I take a swig of Nyquil, I usually don’t sleep, I go into a coma. Not to mention when I wake up, I feel like a zombie. I don’t need to know anything about it that I don’t know from doing it. I would rather sleep than put up with this stupid reality bull-shit. What are scientists trying to do? Cheat God? Cut some corners so that we won’t be inconvenienced by everyday activities like sleep?

Listen to this: “There is still debate among sleep researchers about the exact relationship between the REM state and dreaming.” There is heated debate about sleeping! I can just see it: A council of 20 scientists enter a dark room and take a seat at a long table. They are all in white coats, and wearing water buffalo hats (It symbolizes intelligence in the scientists crazy secret society). One scientist stands up: “REM sleep cannot be associated with dreaming! My EEG report shows that sharp intermittent waveforms called K complexes activate the sleep spindles in the Alpha process of sleep that initiates dreaming!” Another disagrees: “Preposterous! Dreaming is exclusive to REM sleep! A short period of REM begins at the theta level of the slumber phase!” RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE. Can’t we all just agree that sleep is good and take a fucking nap? We don’t need to study it and needlessly argue about it. Lets just fucking sleep and enjoy it, people have been doing it for millions of years and all of us agree that it is good.

Scientists are curious as to “why” we sleep. Why we sleep? Why the fuck are we even living? Why are we on a rock, floating in the endless abyss of the universe, eating, shitting, and sleeping? Who gives a fuck? What are you going to do about it, science boy? You know that our society has way too much time on its hands when we are trying to figure out (Dumb voice) “Why do we sleep? Hey, why do we sleep?” I’ve learned a long time ago that if you ask the whys of our existence and our everyday activities, you’re not going find the truth. You might arrive at some kind of belief about why we sleep, with your EEG scans and your fucking alpha wave processors, but in the end, you’re just as dumb as when you started out, you just have a bunch of unnecessary information about sleep. Shut up and sleep, you dumb scientist, its because of you I have to read a chapter in my psych book about sleep so I don’t flunk the test so I can get notoriety to make money in a fucking society that wonders “Why do we sleep?” What are you, eight years old? “Mommy, why do we sleep?” Because we get tired, that’s why, Christ.