Jail Bird

It all started when Ryan snuck out to go to a book club one night. He felt like driving like a maniac so he drove his parent’s car into a fire hydrant. The fire hydrant burst open and started gushing water every freaking where!!! And he decided that he didn’t want to get in trouble because then he wouldn’t be able to sneak out to his book club anymore. So he put Richard Mazarowski’s driver’s license that he had stolen from him a while back, and it was also expired so that made it worse for him. Awhile later the police came around to Rick’s house and found the car with Rick’s license in the front seat. While Rick was sleeping, and hugging his ugly pillow and pretending it was a big Mac from MacDonald’s and the police barged in and took him away on a pole tied up like he was roasting.

Then he was at the police station for questioning in a dark room. After he got in there they put a light on and started to question him with the bright, gleaming light over him and he was sweating like a donkey in a sauna! Next, after questioning he was put in a jail cell. And in that jail cell were five huge thugs, from a Trick Daddy video. Then Rick asked to play a game of duck, duck goose. They all agreed and they sat down in a circle of shame. Well, at least the thugs thought that for Rick. So if Rick was goosed and he didn’t make to the thug’s spot in time he would get pummeled by the thugs, which happened to be every time. Another night, Rick was sleeping on the top bunk of a wide board that was chained to the higher part of the wall. The board broke and Rick fell on the thug below him. That made the thug extra angry, so he took Rick while he was still sleeping and gave his head thirty-three swirlies. When Rick woke up the next morning, he found his head still in the toilet. He questioned how he got there, but all he could think of what that it was a wild party and he just happened to fall asleep in it. But he also wondered where his party lampshade was. Then after the madness Rick got hungry so he asked the guard to see if he could get some grub. So then the guard let him out and Rick ran for his life screaming, “Remember the Alamo!!” over and over again. Then when he got to the line. He saw some thugs and they all cut in front of him and then Rick kicked him and the thug brought a trumpet out and Rick ran out like a girl. And when he came out he had the trumpet around his neck. Rick said when he gets out of here he is going to sue Ryan!! And then later that day Rick tried to take that trumpet off his neck. It didn’t work with warm water, so he went to the cafeteria and rubbed some chili and it got all over him and it still didn’t work. Then, he woke up one of the thugs and then he beat him up.

While he was still in jail, Rick was still able to get his Jenny Craig Total Workout Videos. He had stowed away a very small television with a VHS player and an antenna in the hole he dug with his plastic spoon. He put in the tape and pulled out his complimentary sweatbands and put them on. He found a box that he could do stepping exercises on. He was just getting to the main part of his workout before a thug saw him and turned him in to a guard. The guard was so upset with dealing with Rick; he finally gave up with him and sent him to the dungeon to spin thread for all eternity.

Also Rick had got his one phone call before he was sent to the dungeon, and he accidentally made three phone calls and (one was a wrong number) the thugs beat him up. The first person he called was Ryan, Jeff answered and Rick asked for Ryan and he said hold on.

“Hello,” he said “This Ryan Casbah at your service how may I help you?”

“You idiot!!” Rick screamed, “You got me in the slammer! I hate you, how did you plan this and how did you get my license even?”

Ryan said “I stole it a while back it was expired stupid and the police thought you were driving with it so oh, another call got to go.”

Rick yelled, “You stink!”

The next person he called was Melissa and he wanted her to bail him outta jail but she said she was to busy and she didn’t have enough money to bail um out. Also Rick on other days instead of serving lunch or other things you do he made license plates and then Rick got beat up again. I hope you have enjoyed this little tale I call stupid. Thank so much oh and another thing Richard BM. Mazarowski never got out of jail he ended up staying there for another 2 years.

This has been a Jeff, Ryan Casbah production. Oh, and there might be a sequel, as soon as we think of another story too continue on with this one. We also have lyrics to a song of Rick. Here are some inside scoops on how we created this production.

It is all based on Rick and we really consider a tutor for him here are some lines.

“Jeff what are you doing?!”
“I’m sneaking out!”

“I’m down wit that dogs.”