The Night Before Christmas

A Studio-D Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
every creature was stirring, even the mouse.
Mary’s queso was placed next to the Tostido’s with care,
in hopes that the partiers soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug on the futon,
while watching an episode of Jimmy Neutron.
And Trish in a 'kerchief, and Ken manning the tap,
gawked at Sean while he fought with his bottle cap.

When out on the porch there arose such a clatter,
Karen sprang from the stove to see what was the matter.
Away to the back door she flew like a flash,
tore open the door and the blind fell with a crash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
gave the luster of midday to objects below,
when, what to her wondering eyes should appear,
but Lisa and David with what were two cases of beer.

With precious beer all over the ground,
we knew in a moment more beer must be found.
More rapid than eagles, when rallied they came,
and Ken whistled and shouted and called them by name:

"Now David! Now Clark!
Now, Sean and Mary!
On, Ted! On, Amy!
On, Ron and Stacy!
To the nearest grocery store!
We mustn’t stall!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!"

Through the air that white jeep did fly,
too bad Ken failed to notice the cop near by,
so up to the house the beer runners flew,
with Dos Equis in their arms, and a speeding ticket too.

And then, in the kitchen, they noticed something a gleam
the cakes and cookies all about were simply a dream.
As we drew into the buffet and formed a line
all we could think about was “who’s got the wine!?”.

Clark was covered from his head to his toe,
and his sweater was all fuzzy like the coat a doe.
A bundle of socks warmed each foot,
Like an Eskimo he was with johns the color of soot.

His eyes--how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a cigar held in his teeth,
The smoke encircled his head like a wreath.
He secretly loves morning shows like Regis and Kelly,
Occasionally making fun of me and my bowl full of jelly.
He was shivering and a bit frozen for a right jolly old bloke,

and Jake still laughs at his every a joke.
We all felt like a Santa after we all fed
soon we all became so tired we almost felt dead.
We spoke not a word, but went straight to the porch,

and lit the chimenias with Clark’s little torch.
Now snuggled up with friends so dear,
we failed to realize the chimenias were quite near.
As Trish sprang up from her chair put out her daughter,
.
We heard Ken exclaim, as he ran into the night,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"