FREE

I’ve always felt soothed by the music of the sea. The harmonious sound of the waves gently crashing against the rocks, the sea gulls screeching over my head…… yes, I’ve always felt free here, I’ve always felt content. I watched the blazing sun set across the sky, slowly disappearing into the sea. I glanced at my watch and saw it was about six now and continued to watch the finale of nature’s majestic show. As the sun slowly submerged into the sea, a blaze of red and orange hues lit up the sky and with a final peek the sun disappeared into the sea and gave way to the inevitable darkness. The darkness came swiftly and quietly, spreading like a disease. One minute there was so much beauty in the world, so much to see and the next minute utter emptiness. I turned from the sea and headed to my car. My shift will start from six-thirty to one in the morning. It was time to take leave of my sanctuary.



I entered the hospital and the smell of hope, joy, grief, despair and death assaulted my nose at once. It was so tangible; I could almost touch those feelings and feel it sweep into my body. Shaking my head clear, I proceeded to go check the schedule posted in the head nurse’s office. As I entered, the head nurse Sally, smiled and with her head, indicated me to check my schedule. I saw it was just the usual and was pretty surprised.

“No one’s been hit by pneumonia? It’s the getting chillier now,” I commented.
Sally just shook her head, “No. Not yet. And I pray to GOD, not soon either. It’s sad to see the young ones suffering from it.” She paused and looked up at me, “She’s waiting for you. Said she’s feeling loads better,”

I nodded and went out to perform my duties. By twelve thirty I had finished my rounds and done my paper work. I could have gone home now and rested. Heaven knows, I need it. But I took a detour and went to visit my favourite little patient.


Her name was Kathy and she was eight years old. She had blonde hair, bright blue eyes and the smile of an angel. She was admitted six months ago when she was injured in a car accident along with her parents and her brother. Her parents died on the spot while her brother was rushed to the ICU. After two months of fighting, her brother, Timothy Brave succumbed to his extensive injuries and bid adieu to his younger sister. He was eleven years old. Now, it seemed little Kathy Brave would be joining her family. Pausing outside her door, I shook away these melancholy thoughts and opened the door. Hearing the noise she turned to me and smiled. I smiled back gently and went to sit beside her bed.
“Feeling better now?” I asked quietly.
She grinned with enthusiasm and said cheerfully, “Loads! I feel much better and its not hurting much anymore!”
I smiled back while inside I felt my heart break. She isn’t feeling better, I realized. The doctors must have upped the medication to lessen the pain.
They never did that unless as a last resort.
I looked at her and continued to make idle chit-chat.
“So, anything special happened to you since last night?”
Kathy pouted. “They never let me out! Why can’t they? Its been so long!! I’m bored here! I wanna play!”
I laughed, “The moment you’re better we’ll let you out of here,”
Still pouting, Kathy just shrugged. Then she brightened.
“I saw my parents yesterday. Even Timothy was there. He told me that he’ll soon come and we can all play together. I can’t wait! We have loads of fun, Tim and me. We play Hide and Seek, Pin the tail on the Donkey and so many games!”
Confused, I asked, “You dreamed of them? They talked to you in your dream?”
Kathy nodded. “They always came but before they never talked; Just smiled and told me that it isn’t time. But yesterday, they told me that I’ll meet them soon and to be a good little girl.”
I nodded slowly and got up.
“Good night angel. You sleep well and no tantrums, you hear?”
Kathy nodded solemnly. “I’ll be a good girl just like daddy told me.”
I kissed her forehead and exited the room briskly. I didn’t know why but I was feeling a bit scared. Maybe I’m too tired, I thought. A hot shower will make me feel much better.



The sea’s turbulent today. The wind is whipping harshly around me and I felt like I was being dragged in three different directions at the same time. Earlier in the morning I had got the call informing Kathy had slipped into a coma. ‘How?’ I wondered. ‘She was fine yesterday, said she was feeling better,’

‘But yesterday, they told me that I’ll meet them soon and to be a good little girl.’

I shivered.

Is this the reward good girls get?


I looked down at little Kathy now sleeping the sleep of eternity. Her blonde hair gleaming and her little body covered in a thin white sheet. I could hear her laughter and her joy echoing in my ear. I imagined her playing with her brother now.  I kiss her forehead and turn to leave the room and I hear a gentle song:

Hush now child within my arms,
Sleep deeply and well.
When the roses bloom and show their charm,
Sleep forever, farewell.


I turn my head and stare out of the window. Longing to get out and stand at the beach. Sally entered my room and watched me quietly. After a long pause, she whispered, “I never thought to see you here…”
I heard the tears in her voice and smiled softly, “I never expected to be here,”
She came to my bed and grasped my hands.

“You shouldn’t be here. You’re supposed to do rounds. You’re supposed to help other people heal…….. You can’t die. It isn’t right!” she wailed and dropped next to me crying over my hands.


I gripped hers comfortingly, “I knew. They told me when I was sixteen that I had Leukaemia. Now, I’m twenty three. GOD praise him, I’m glad I lived so long, I was able to serve at least some people. I didn’t live an empty life. I did something.”


It was six now and I was all alone in my room. I went to the window sill and sat there quietly watching the sun set and seeing its the brilliant rays slowly fading. I looked down at the tag on my hospital gown. It read ‘Lily’.
Kathy called me silly Lily, I mused. My parents died too, when I was young.. But I lived on.

But not for long silly Lily, giggled Kathy.

No, I mused as I closed my eyes and felt the darkness envelop me slowly. I heard my door open and Sally screaming. I heard Kathy’s voice whisper in my ear, We’ll have so much fun now silly Lily. She giggled. You can play with Timothy and me!

I opened my eyes and stared into Sally’s tear filled ones.

“I feel free Sally, I feel free….” I whispered and closed my eyes to go play with Kathy.

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