Filthy. Gorgeous.

hate the establishment.
that's what i say.
hate the Man. hate the times that You All held me down
screaming, "BUT YOU'RE NOT BEAUTIFUL!"
i can see that. i look at myself in the mirror everyday.
but that won't hold me back anymore.
i refuse to be defined by established roles.
though i am not a lover, i'm not an asexual being.
i have desires and, frankly, you're too immature to fulfill them.
i finally realize why God made me this way.
God made me this way.
God made me beautiful and unique
so that i, king of liars and whores, may see the beauty in the most broken of souls.
so that i may find humility and not look down at the trodden
but lift them on my shoulders saying, "but you are still better than i."
so that people could look at my life with envy
then learn to love their own through my struggle.
and the one boy i see watching me,
i'm watching you, too.
God sent me to give you peace.
you've learned to look through my vanity and your own.
and i thank you as i thank kim
who is as much of a bitch as i am a bitch
though you would never say that to my face.
and you wouldn't make the same mistake as foxy, who i forgive for his naivity.
and i ask for forgiveness in return because he truly didn't know
that words do hurt as much as sticks,
drag me down much more than stones,
and those eight words are worth eight thousand photos
photos you've never seen the true me in.
photos that show the sadness behind my eyes if you look closely enough.
but no one wants to get that close to a broken somebody.
so i'll take up mortar and fire the kiln;
fill in all the cracks and burn away the impurities.
you'll see how i shine.