"Seemed Like A Good Idea"

The Pop Chronicles III

“Seemed Like A Good Idea”
By
The Nut

November 21, 2006

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I’ll have to tell you about my Pop. He was always a very neat man. He didn’t allow any clutter, either inside or outside the house. The outside property was of particular concern to him. He made it a regular practice to survey the landscape, deciding what upkeep needed to be done, and was very meticulous in making sure things were maintained to his standards.

Our house was on a hill, and had a steep yard, with a deep ditch at the bottom, near the road. At the end of the sidewalk leading to the driveway, Pop had set up two makeshift flower planters, one on either side. They were made from pieces of two-foot by two-foot concrete drain pipe, stood up on end, and filled with dirt. Pop always kept red and white petunias planted in them.

I remember that it happened one summer evening. We had finished dinner, it was hot in the house, and we all had went outside to get some fresh air. Pop stood and surveyed the landscape, noticing one of the flower planters. He decided that it had eroded so badly that it was now considered to be clutter. Thinking that it would sink into the deep ditch at the bottom of the yard, he instructed me to give it a good kick.

The plan started out well enough in the beginning. I gave the planter a kick and it began to slowly roll down the hill. After several feet though, we began to realize that we had a problem. The planter was picking up speed and an unbelievable rate, and was beginning to bounce. All we could do was stand in awe and watch the descent, wondering what else would go wrong.

The planter continued down the hill at a maddening pace. I remember Mama saying, “it’s not going to stop”, and Pop saying, “yes it will”. About that time, the planter finally reached the ditch and rolled in. We all breathed a sigh of relief, until…

Awestruck, we continued to watch the planter’s descent. It bounced out of the ditch, up onto the road, bounded across the road, and into the ditch on the other side. But it didn’t stop there. It bounced out of that ditch and continued on into the field of cows across the road from us. The planter rolled through the herd of cows, and amazingly enough, managed to miss all of them. The planter then turned to the left, came to a slow roll, and finally stopped.

What was intended to be a seventy-five foot roll actually ended up being a two hundred fifty foot roll.

As it came to it’s final resting place, Mama began to yell at us. “What would you have done if it had have hit a car and caused it to wreck? What would you have done it if had have hit a cow and you ended up having to buy it?” "I would have handled the situation" said Pop, as he walked off.