an empty one

you?
lets see..
the first time i saw your face..
i feel something started inside me..
my heart just kept beating fast..
my eyes... it always glances back..when im trying to look away..
my mind.. dont know what to do...
its thinking of something more difficult than math..
then suddenly i heard you said goodbye...
i guess im in something, somewhere.. to long..

when i came back home.. straight to my room..
lie on the bed.. put a pillow on my face..
what am i thinking??!
what's this, feeling...??!
its wrong...
i cant love someone..
who love someone else..
the fact that they love each other so much.
besides who am i..
maybe for her..in her mind.. in that time.. maybe..
i just came out of nowhere..
introduced by her boyfriend..
and then..
booom
baaam...
ting..ting... ting...
knock out..
alright..
is that all??
finish..
the end... i have nothing to do with you..

all right back to what im saying..
im thinking on my bed..
pillowed face..
then comes another morning.(.-wanting to see her again)
day...(-i missed her)
months..(-i told her i love her)
years.(.-hoping that she'll love me too)
we have some precious moments..
the laughter and tears..
by that time she knew..
i loved her..
she appreciated it..
sometimes when were together "maybe somehow..she love me.." popped out of my mind...well who knows..


years passed..
im on my college...
im still hoping..
waiting..
and sometimes crying..(blah blah blah)


i love her so much.... but i couldnt risk to break their relationship..
and my friendship with her boyfriend..

i dont know if i could use "if you have sumthing to do,, dont look back just look forward" thing..
or if i fight for my love..would she be a referee to stop me.. if im hurt..and be concerned about me..
or a judge.. who will charge me "guilty"..
in short.. do i have the strength.. to face the truth when she pick her boyfriend's side.. and not mine..

i couldnt risk those precious moments we have..
all that i have with her..
just to be fair with me..

id rather pray everyday.. for God to pls take care of her.. guide her throughout the day..
and id rather hope that she will love me too..
and id rather be hurt by her.. than with somone else..

she deserves..


all my sacrifices.. for her..


and more than that..