Insomnia

The urgent ringing catches my attention and I dash down the hall to answer its call. As I reach for the phone my muscles tense; instantly paralyzed, I fall to the floor. An unknown force creeps into my mind and drags me downwards. It is a tug of war over consciousness: I struggle to fight. Completely violated, this is my worst nightmare.



Darkness swirls around me as I plummet further and further into an unfamiliar world. Words whirl around me but I’m unable to comprehend their meaning. At this moment I am totally aware, yet unaware of my environment. My teeth clench as I grasp the sheets underneath me. Wake up Pearl, wake up. Trembling, I try to battle the unknown, yet familiar feeling. I look ahead in my mirror and I see the image of a man standing over my bed, grinning viciously. Startled, I wake up.


Frantically I reach for my rosary, needing to be reassured that I am, in reality, home in bed, sane. I find nothing. Thoughts race through my mind. Questions with unexplainable answers emerge. I need my rosary. I need the light. The light turns on with a flick, and the man disappears. I hurl myself off my bed, taking the layers of blankets with me. An angry growl escapes my lips.


Why does this always happen to me? Shaking off the self pity, I remember my objective, my rosary. My eyes dart around the room, nothing. Tears form in the corners of my eyes and I try to hold them back. Please God, not again. Blinking away the tears, I look behind, in, and under my bed. Still, I have no luck. Defeated and distraught I retire to bed, suffocating my oldest friend, my blankie.

* * *

Not again, just leave me alone. I must reach for the switch. My body is working against me as I make an attempt to scare this evil away. My arm has been replaced with a sand bag. Just turn on the light and everything will be okay. My hands clench into rigid balls. Atlas had it easy; I have the weight of the world on my hand. Finally, I reach it. Success! I flick it on and off; but the light refuses to pierce this nightmare. WHY WON’T THIS END? My body tells me to give up; my mind is pushing me to keep trying. Mind over matter, mind over matter. I am too frightened to face his evil stare; cautiously I pull down the blankets.


Light spills through the doorway, shadowing the weaker light within. Shadows of secrecy mischievously dance around the room, calling for my imagination to join in the festivities. Even though the lights are comforting, I can see his evil face on the wall. It’s only my imagination, it’s fake. Fake, imaginary, not real, make believe, phony. He doesn’t exist Pearl, he doesn’t exist. Memories of my dreams overwhelm me. I listen for an intruder, but there is only silence mixed with the rapid thumping of my heart. I feel foreign to this room; as if there are forces trying to drive me out. As I peer into the darkness my mind fills the emptiness with shapes, faces and movement.


I feel an icy breeze attempt to caress my face, trying to convince me that I am now without my rosary, one of them, evil. I shiver repeatedly as I realize that I cannot escape the wrath of such a wicked force. My mind rushes to figure out how to escape this dungeon. I stare blankly into the darkness. At this point, insomnia is more comforting than dreaming