How I feel now

It seems like you just left, time has had no effect on how I feel; the pain is still just as real, sharp, in my heart. At times I feel it’s tearing me apart.
It’s been a year, but it feels but a day, I guess I’ll always feel this way… the pain will never go away… They say time heals, but in my opinion, it cannot, time cant feel. How can it know what pain is, it’s not even real just a man made custom. It has no power in itself.
I miss you just as much as I did a year ago. Finally, I let the tears flow, but I can’t anymore, im all cried out. I want to scream, I want to shout, Yet I have no doubt your happy, I know this as a fact, I wish I could get my old self back, but I cant, im a changed person, only my closest friends see the real me…the “me” I can sometimes be, but other times, I wonder…How could it be that one person changes so much, just from the loss of one they loved?
Or love I should say, for my love will never fade away…how could it, when I see you every day? Your still here, though not in person, you’ll live by me, silently, guiding me, God will help, for though time has no healing power, God does….and He will heal, in His time…and for now, I’ll live with the pain, day to day, trusting my friends and Him to help me along the way…when im down, when im sad…Ill trust them to make me glad…to be alive, to be here, to be anywhere…they are all I have…..