Chapter excerpt from A Life of Dreams

Dr. Draynor looked up from his paper, as the young man walked into his office.

“Come in,” he said with a smile. The big leather chair slid out behind him, as he stood up. The psychiatrist stuck his hand out over the desk, “It’s nice to finally meet you face to face Mr. Raines. I’m Dr. Draynor, but you can call me Steve if it’s more comfortable for you.” He smiled even bigger “I like to be on a first name basis with my clients.”

Jessie had never been to a psychiatrist before, and he had been very nervous on the way over here; however, this doctor Draynor seemed like a nice enough guy, and he felt his anxiety released by the time he had walked up to the desk and taken the man’s hand.

“It’s nice to finally meet you too Mr. Draynor.” He said with a forced smile.

“Did you have any trouble finding my office?” The doctor said as he walked around his desk towards the couch in the middle of the room.

“No.” Jessie replied.

“Good, I was a little worried you might. Several of my first time clients have trouble finding the office the first time.” The man opened the door to his office and said something to his secretary before turning around to address Jessie. “Mary’s going to get some coffee. Would you like anything?” He asked with a smile.

“No, thank you.” Jessie said, still standing by the desk.

The doctor closed the door and walked back over to the couch. “So this your first time to be in a psychiatrists office. I understand, if you’re a little nervous. People are always nervous their first time in.” He smiled and looked Jessie up and down. “Did you just come straight over from school or did you take the day off?”

“Listen, doctor, I would much rather if we could skip the chit chat and talk about why I’m really here. I’m sure you’re a busy man, and I don’t want to waste any more of your time than necessary.”

Doctor Draynor’s smile never skipped a beat

“Sure, that sounds perfectly fine to me.” He motioned for Jessie to take a seat on the couch. After they were both seated he continued, “So, tell me what’s going on?”

The doctor was near expressionless now. His smile was gone, but his eyes still bored into him demanding an answer. He knew now that the doctor was only treating him like he did the other clients. He was just another patient to be told he had some sort of chemical imbalance, given a prescription, and sent on his way. The friendly smiles and idle chit chat were just to loosen the tension to get the new crazy person to talk. That last thought troubled Jessie.

“I’m not crazy.” He said softly.

The doctor’s expression changed into a comforting and concerned smile.

“Ofcourse you’re not.” He said, and waited for Jessie to continue.

Great, Jessie thought, way to start things off. Now he actually thinks you are crazy.

“I’m just kind of concerned, or... confused I guess.” Jessie looked at his hands as he rubbed his sweaty palms together. He wished he was Garrison right now. Garrison wouldn’t have been nervous to talk to this little bookworm of a man. Peering through his glasses to watch his every move to every word. Lord Garrison would’ve stood tall in the face of this man. Confident in who he was; that he was not crazy. But then again he was not Lord Garrison. Jessie cleared his voice before continuing more confidently.

“You see, I’ve had the same dream every night, my whole life.” The doctor remained expressionless upon hearing Jessie’s news.

“The same dream? What happens in this dream?” He said as he leaned back a little.

“Well it’s not exactly the same dream. It’s more like... a book. Each night being a new chapter. So it’s the same dream, but with a new story every night. Each night picking up where the last night ended.”

“Interesting,” the doctor said. “What is the dream usually about?”

Jessie got a little excited at hearing the doctor’s question. For the first time in his life, someone was interested, and actually asked to hear about the stories that came from his dreams.

“It’s crazy. I’m the same character every night.” He paused briefly to reassure himself then continued. “There are Kings and Lords, armies and hoards, great battles, wizards, fairies, and monsters. Huge cities, deserts, mountains, lakes, oceans, pirates, all kinds of things! I’m an orphan. Well, not in real life, but in the dreams I mean, and I grew up investing the money my father had given me into various things. By the time I was nineteen I was one of the richest men in all of Balaria. So rich, in fact, that the King granted me Lordship rights if I could arrange to buy land from other Lords. Which I absolutely did, I paid a little too much I think, but I got a good bit of land! A lot of land actually! From the Blandin mines, following the river Galend all the way to the city of Koose, all the land is mine. My people are among the happiest in Balaria too, at least that’s what the people tell me. It could just be what I want to hear but I think it’s true. After all they pay next to nothing in taxes. Just enough so I can cover the cost of taxes to the King. I make my real money from the mines though, and the workers, they get paid good too. Free meals for them and their families as long as they meet the quota. The only thing I really haven’t gotten worked out...” Jessie stopped as he finally took the time to register the looks on the face of the man staring at him. His eyebrows raised in question, and his hand stroking the thin beard on his chin.

The two men stared at each other for a moment. Each one looking at the other questioningly. Wondering what the other was thinking. Weighing out each other through blank stares and an awkward silence. Jessie began to bounce his right leg as the dark brown eyes of the doctor bored through his sockets and into his brain. Finally the doctor spoke.

“Go on.” he said quietly, replacing the questioning look on his face with the expressionless one of earlier.

“No, this is stupid.” Jessie said as he stood up. “I don’t even know why I’m here. They’re my dreams, and a dream never hurt anybody. I’m just making myself look like an idiot and wasting both of ours time.” He went out of his way to go around the doctor headed for the door.

“Jessie.” the doctor said standing up and turning towards the door. “Hold on, there’s no reason for you not to stay and finish telling me about your dreams.” He reached the door just before Jessie and put his hand on it. Helping to seal the young college student inside his office with him. “You’ve already paid so you might as well come in and finish telling me about your dream.” Jessie looked at him questioningly. The doctor reassured him. “Look, just come sit back down, and finish telling me about your dream. Actually I’m very interested. If anything just to hear about the story within your dream.” He paused and gave an ever so slight smile before continuing. “You wouldn’t believe the kinds of people I get in here. At least yours is just a bunch of dreams. Now come on, humor me.” He motioned back to the couch; his other hand still on the door.

Jessie fumbled with his keys through his jeans. Maybe he was sincerely interested, or, then again, maybe he wasn’t. He was willing to listen though, and in the end that’s all Jessie was really after. Someone to listen, and assure him that it was all really just a dream. Not some sick twisted fantasy that his mind makes up every night; some escape from reality into a world where he was actually important.

“Fine.” He said it louder than he had intended too, or perhaps it just seemed that way because of the stillness in the room. Either way he lowered his voice to a more docile level. “Fine, I’ll stay for awhile, but I’m only going to talk about things that you want to hear.” He pointed a finger at the mans chest. “If you don’t ask about it, then I’m not going to tell you about it. That’s the way this is going to work. I’m not going to ramble on about monsters, and wars, and great feasts, and make myself look even more ridiculous than I already have, if you don’t want to hear about it.”

The man nodded and turned back towards the couch. Jessie followed.