S-H-O-W-E-R

If your wondering what the cold cruel world is like. Well, I just said it. It really is cold and cruel. Every man for themself. Unlike most people some are leaders, leaders that actually not only talk the talk but walk the walk. George Balisk is the name and being your leader is my game. As usual I stand for the right of people. Okay, not every right like coffee should be in the food chart but you get my point.
I guess you could say I'm a lawyer or a judge. Although I would be awful flatter if you said I was the president. Sadly, I am not any of those. I work in a car dump. Imagine the worse bathroom and just make it a 100 X 100 room. Thats just the garage. My office is a little better but not by much and the actually bathrooms...lets not get into too much detail about that excpet it reaks, BAD. Here I am working on small truck who's tires need to be rotated.
"There ya go Mr. Davis."
"Thanks, now how much is this going to cost me?"
"How much ya got? Haha I'm just joking. That'll be $50 per wheel."
"Alright good enough, I love your sales."
"With or without they still pay my bills"mumbled George.
Then it came, the ugliest man in the world times ten. If you think about it, the only time he gets wet/showers is when it's raining. His name was John Burt. Mean, scary, ugly, smelly, do I have to go on? It's like he's celebrating Halloween more than he eats.
"How ya doin George?"snorts Mr. Burt.
"Fine..."
"I need a favor.."
"What?" I really wanted to say "What? O, the soap is in the shower next to the shampoo.
"My wife, shes protesting against me."
"What for?" Again I wanted to say "I still can't believe she married you".
"For cleaness."
Thank the heavens! I thought this day would never come, thank you Mrs. Burt THANK YOU!!!!
"Sigh, Alright I'll put a good word in but thats it."
"I need to win this, otherwise I'll be known as Mr. Smelly and not only that, she is sueing me for 10 grand."
"O my dust."
"I sitll can't believe you still say that, we came up with that in the 4th grade. Your 22 now don't you think you can say it?"
"O my dust."
"What!?"
"Look at your wife"
As he turned around I ran. Yes, that was daft but I had no choice I was caught. There's two things that I wanted to happen, 1. I wanted Mrs. Burt to win. 2. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I knew him since the 1st grade. He may have not been my best friend but he always supported me. So he could be no sorry he will be mean and remind me the times he stood up for me.
Alright so I started to drive to Mrs. Burt's house and on the way there of course there's traffic. 45min it took me to get there. You'd think they would of come up with hover cars for all of us by now. Cheap too, I can't even afford a new shoe lace. When I there, there were signs all over the yard, house, dog, children, streets and more. It was scary. Although I do admire her for trying to get Mr. Burt to even know the definition of clean. I walked up, rang the doorbell and then prayed that she wouldn't slap me in the face for being his friend and not telling him to shower all these years.
"Well good afternoon Mr. Balisk" said Mrs. Burt sweetly
"Well good afternoon, I came to ask you about the whole protest."
"Ahh, yes, as you can see I'm getting the message down his fat layered throat."
"Yea, anyways it's a little hard for me because I'm caught between if you know what I mean, so you think you could call it off and just try to get it through his thick skull?"
"Well, who knows who hes told not to shower. I got to stop the insanity, and the stink."
"Yes and you're doing a great job at it but hes asked me to help him out. The least you could to do is take the 10 grand off. "
"I need the money, I'm going to make a divorce."
"O, I understand, does he know?"
"Hes known for months, now, he hasn't told you?"
"No."
"Well, I'm really sorry but I just can't deal with it anymore."
"Alright, well thanks for sharing this with me."
"No problem, O here take this button."
It says " You like stink? Then go to your home planet."
"Thats, intresting slogan." said George awkwardly
"Thanks!"
As I walked down her steps I waved goodbye and started heading home. It was about 5pm. Usually I would still be at work but I couln't handle it. I ethier go with Mrs. Burt or someone who I've smelled for years, John. Do you think Mexico would take a white 6ft man and just act like he was mexican with all the perks? Nah, and if your wondering why I'm so worried about this it's because John's job is pro wrestling and his wife knows the moves too. As for me, my bones are sticks, thin sticks. Take a stick, wiggle it, throw it around and your pretty much throwing my leg around. So run to mexico or have every bone in my body broken....tough choice. Maybe I could convince John to take a shower...more than once a month but it could happen. He said I could tell him ANYTHING. So well, I think this is very important but then again he could beat me up. O great. Well, I'm back at the car shop lets see what will happen next. Please place bets before the bell rings.
"Well did it work?"asked John.
"Umm...sort of..."
"Okay what can I do so this thing will work?"
"I'm your friend and as friends we can tell eachother everything and thats what I'm trying to do I really like you as a friend your a great guy..."
"GET TO THE POINT!"
"Wel...you really need to take showers more than once a month..."said George very quietly...
"What?"
"Shower..."
"What?!"
"S-H-O-W-E-R!" and the bell just went off folks!
"I guess your right...maybe its my smell thats getting her to do this."
I'm staring at a 6.5ft man with arms of steel and he doesn't beat me up? What kind of person is this guy? Not that I don't like it but he really suprised me there. Anyways, I might as well send him home so he can take a shower say sorry and bla bla bla...
"Alright I think my boys finish your car just in time."
"Good, when I get home I'll bathe."
With a smile on my face I'm screaming in my head "Finally" and cheers..etc. Hopefully this whole court suing thing will end. 1. because I want them to be together happily again. 2. This is a short story not a book. Few days later this man came in, he looked kind of like John but it couldn't be possible and yet it was.
He was wearing jeans, t-shirt without stains. Hair combed and not a single zit on his face. Speaking of his face it looked like he took layers and layers of dirt off. That can't be healthy. He told me his wife stopped and they are living happily ever after. As for me at least my closest friends won't have to be 10ft behind me because they don't bathe and when people ask do I know them I won't have to lie.
Anyways I just hope this lasts long...