Rendezvous

“I wish we could meet again but I’ll stick to what we agreed .That this is a one time meeting.” I say

“You can meet me as many times as you want.” She pauses and continues after a moment of hesitation, “We are separating.”

I feel confused. She always said that she was leading a happy married life. Why this sudden talk about separation? I feel irritated as I think about the consequences. Is she expecting me to have a committed relationship with her? Is she expecting that I’d even eventually separate from my wife? Didn’t I tell her that I love my wife and wouldn’t jeopardize my marriage? Is she dumb? Is she crazy? Why the hell did I do what I did? Questions, Questions, Questions.

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I watch through the window. She parks her two-wheeler and starts walking towards the entrance. I feel like running towards her and hugging her but I don’t.
This is India for a man and woman to hug or kiss in public and not to get stared at.
She opens the glass door and her eyes quickly sweep the area. I wave. She spots me and starts walking towards me. She is wearing a black T-shirt on sky-blue jeans. I have seen her in the photos, on the web cam and talked with her for several tens of hours in the last six months. This is the first time I’m seeing her in person. She is more beautiful than I imagined she would be.
I stand up, look into her large, luminous and drownable-in eyes and say with as much feeling as I can, “Thanks for coming.”
She smiles and says " Now what?”
I smile and say, “I have no clue.”
“That’s why I call you a budhu.” she giggles
She can call me dumb or anything she wants. I’d never mind.

I resist a strong urge to pull her towards me, seal her lips with my own and run my tongue on her front teeth. She reads my mind with amazing accuracy. She covers her mouth with her right hand and says slightly blushing, “Don’t get ideas.”
“Don’t try to stop the inevitable.” I say and wave for the waiter.
We order for Chicken soup and fried baby corns as a starter.
“Now tell me all you want. I got only a couple of hours. My kids would get panicky.” she says
“They are with your parents…right?” I ask her.
“Yeah but they would be upset if I am not around for long time,” she says with a concern.
“I understand. My kids too feel insecure if their mom is not around. I guess all kids are like that.” I say.
We become silent momentarily as the waiter appears with the soup and the baby corns.
“Do you remember the day we met online”, I ask her.
“Nah. You do?” she asks.
“Vividly “, I say.
“Tell me” she says with a glow in her eyes.
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I met Swetha in an online games site. ‘Literati’ is a silly word game one can play with others on the Internet. During the game I chatted with her and came to know that she is from Kanpur and like me is a literati addict. We started to play regularly.

She had a terrific repartee and sense of humor. If you spend every day online with a person for two hours you talk about a lot of things and soon we started talking about our personal lives. She is couple of years elder to me and her kids are 6 and 3.Her hubby works as a software designer.

In the beginning I never took the details seriously for the simple reason that the people can say all they want and you can never be sure if they are telling truth. I didn’t care either. I have been on the web long enough. I just enjoyed the competitive play and the witty repartee. But that changed one day. When I mentioned that to would be so nice if we can add faces to words she said she would send her picture if I first sent mine. I comply. “Here you go,” she says and her web cam becomes active.

The moment I saw her something happened to me. A feeling that is hard articulate. The twinkle in her eyes and the smile are on her lips made me experience an emotion I cannot articulate enough. It can only be experienced.

It is not the first time that I saw some woman on a web cam. In a literal sense she is not as beautiful as my wife is but there is something in her, which touches me. That night I think about her. I acquire a web cam and daily after the games we’d turn on the web cams. As days passed her thoughts start to consume me. I probably start to lust for her.

I try to reason that I’m a married person with a kid and that she is a married woman with two kids. I tell myself repeatedly that I ain’t a person with out integrity to cheat on my wife and covet another man’s wife. It simply doesn’t work.

Next day I say it all. I describe to her in detail the emotions I went through. I confess how I dream about her and how I hug her and kiss her in my thoughts. I say it all with out guilt or remorse.

I think her reaction would be something like,” What an asshole! Get lost and don’t come back.”

Instead She says, “Don’t feel bad. That’s what exactly I went through since I met you. I would think even more about you knowing that our feelings are mutual”. She turns her web cam and her magnetic face flashes before me. I run my fingertip on her lips. I type in something naughty and suggestive. She gets straight to the point. We cyber. Soon we exchange our cell phone numbers. We start to talk on them.

One day we talk about our spouses. We discuss the nuances of ethics and morals. We think that you don’t feel attracted to someone every other day. We strongly feel that true love or idea of committing adultery happens naturally like weather and when it does it shouldn’t be scuttled. We think that men and women are capable of loving or simply making love with more than one person.

She tosses a tough one. “Say your wife shares your philosophy and puts into practice.”

Surprisingly I take it well though I feel slightly shaky. Deep down I know my wife wouldn’t even dream about something like that. I say with a brave face and a large heart, ‘I would still love her the way I do now.”
One day I ask her if we could meet.
She says, “No way.”
“Why?” I challenge her
“Because you took so long to ask.” she replies
“When we meet I’d probably kiss you with out a warning.” I open the gambit.
“Where?” She makes the next move.
“Lips.” is all I manage to say
“What an idiot!” She says jokingly.

We both know that the implications of meting in person can be enormous. To talk on web is one thing and meet in person another. We discuss at length and finally decide that we would meet once but never again. We would cover all the tracks, plan perfectly and have one meeting. Sort of a one night stand.

We love our families more than we love each other. We would never do anything that can devastate our families. We agree that probably we just lust for each other and its not love but infatuation but we think that there is nothing unnatural in getting infatuated by any other person. Doesn’t matter if one is married or not.

The vague talk about meeting in person goes on for several weeks with out anything really happening.

The perfect occasion to meet finally and really comes when she says she is traveling to her parent’s place in Delhi. I tell her my wife that I need to attend my friend’s marriage in Delhi. She looks at me in a way she never looked before but doesn’t ask too many questions. How could she have even a vague idea about what I’m up to?

I stay in a hotel, Swetha calls me on my cell and we fix the time to meet. Here we are at this luncheon in the restaurant attached to the hotel.

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“I am not used to having lunch with men but I admit I enjoyed it “, she says as we reach for the desserts. We discuss about things that interest us in life. We talk about our spouses. We talk about silly fighting, sulking and calming down of the tempers. She remarks that she enjoys making love to her husband much more after the occasional big fight.

She suddenly says “It’s almost an hour I left home. I need to go back in another hour. I promised my kids that I’d be back in two hours. How long you are staying in Delhi?” she says.
I take the hint.
“I have come only to meet you and I did. I’ll take the evening flight.” I say.
I wave for the waiter and pay through my credit card.
We take the elevator and reach third floor.
I unlock the door and turn on the sign ‘Do not disturb’.

After a moment of hesitation I slip my hand around her waist and pull her close. I stare into her eyes and her lips shiver slightly. Is it anticipation or nervousness? I draw her even closer and kiss her neck. She moans softly. Her hair is soft and silky. I gently nibble her ears as her breath caresses my cheek.
“I feel like a virgin.” She says
I lift her head and saying,” Here is your first kiss” I seal her lips with my own.
My tongue parts her lips and I run it on her teeth. She pulls my head even closer and our tongue play.
“I am going to plant deep, hot and wet kisses on your body not leaving a single inch unkissed.” I say.
Her moans get louder and she guides my head down.
“You have fulfilled mine. Do you have any fantasies?” she whispers while running her tongue on my ears.
“I do.” I say
“I’ll make all of them come true” she replies.
There is surely something called heaven as time freezes and we suspend in an eternal evanescent moment.

Finally we lie down silently. I gently run my finger on beads of sweat on her cheeks glowing like pearls.

She places her head on my chest.
“Do you feel guilty?” I ask her.
“I am not sure?” she says and asks me “Do you?”
“No” I say.
“We shouldn’t.” She says.
“We are radical. We put even Americans to shame.” I say. We giggle.
“I wish we could meet again but I’ll stick to what we agreed .That this is a one time meeting.” I say
“You can meet me as many times as you want.” She pauses and continues after a moment of hesitation, “We are separating.”
I feel confused and thinking about the consequences I feel irritated.
“What happened?” I ask her.
She looks at her watch and says, “OOPS it’s almost four I need to go.”
I watch her dress. She comes near me gives me quick kiss.
I hold her hands plead her to tell me what happened.
She says walking to the door, “My husband knew all along what we did online and what we are up to during this trip. He wants to split. I don’t blame him. I don’t blame myself either but you please be careful. I don’t want you to pay the price I paid.”
I stare at her in disbelief.
“What are you saying?” My tone is several octaves higher
She looks over her shoulder and says, “He installed some software on the computer, which recorded all my actions and stored my chat transcripts.”
“How could you be so normal? How could you even come here when you know that he knew’ I ask nervously.
“There is no way I could turn back the clock. Yeah I felt devastated when he told me about it the night I started for Delhi. He thinks my agreeing to meet you is no better than actually meeting you. He wants to split and he is firm. I made peace with my fate and accepted it. It is a choice I made and I am not going to whine when it comes to paying the price.” She said.
I just sit and stare at her not knowing what to say.
“I didn’t understand one thing. He wasn’t angry at all. He was firm but very gentle. Keep in touch.” She says with a forced smile and as she reaches the door to open it and the bell starts to ring.
We both freeze.
The bell stops ringing and but now someone is knocking on the door.
I recover and say, “Relax it got to be cleaning service or something like that.”
She opens the door.
Am I hallucinating?
How did she come here? Why the hell is she smiling? What is happening? I feel delirious.
My wife walks to me, pinches on my cheek mockingly and says, “No you are not dreaming.”
Swetha totally clueless frowns at both of us.
My wife turns to her and says. "Hi Swetha"
I start to chew my nails. I always do when I'm lost.
Before I open my mouth another man slips in through the half open door.
“Who is this tall and handsome guy who is walking in so assuredly as if it is his room? Why is he smiling? Why did Swetha gasp?
What the fuck is going on here?
“You know I first thought of finding you and killing you. Instead I met your wife to tell her what your true color is. She wouldn’t believe and I helped her to set up the software on your computer too.” he says with a grin.
“First we felt betrayed but we now agree with you. Love can happen anytime to anyone with anyone and it is wonderful.” my wife says. There is a new glow on her face.
Bewildered I look at my wife and her husband.
He gets to the point quickly moving towards my wife, “She’d be filing for a divorce soon.”
My wife stares at him admiringly. He stares back his eyes glowing. Gawd they are madly in love with each other! Not knowing what to say I turn to Swetha chewing my nails feverishly. She looks at me at the same moment.
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