Shattered

When she kissed me I shattered!No really I shattered!
Shattered into a dozen selves....all rotating ,spinning ,swirling around inside my skull.O Lord! It was terribly fine.I have to whisper because they are all asleep right now and I don't want to wake them.They are the best and the worst of all that I am.
I don't know what happened to my girl friend .I think she ran away.I don't blame her.I had screamed and started talking in tongues .It was just 12 people trying to talk at once but it even scared me.I guess I passed out because I woke up chewing on a bone with a great dane and a cocker spaniel.They were trying to get it away from me and I was winning the tug of war when I came to.
Apparently there is some Lycanthrophy in one of my personalities.I started spitting and gagging and the dogs ran down the alley with the spaniel carrying the bone.I was covered in mud and smelled like the garbage I had been digging into.
Suddenly my girlfriend ran around the corner."There you are!"she yelled.
"I tried to follow you but you ran away so fast.Are you alright?What are you doing?"
UGGGHHH ! You're disgusting!
I tried to speak but only gurgled.I stood up shakily and she took my arm.
"Come on ,let's get out of here before we get killed ."she said.
Just then Three guys came walking down the alley.One had a bottle of wine and they were taking hits off of it.They stopped when they saw Melinda and me.
We were just too good to be true.They looked at each other and started laughing
then they ran toward us .
Instantly I did a flip in the air and landed behind them,effectively separating them from Melinda as they turned to fight me.At the same time I yelled "Run Melinda!"
And she ran!
Then I heard myself make a high pitched war cry and holler out "I have many skills"
I started kicking and walloping those guys like crazy.After two minutes of that they
turned tail and ran away screaming.
I brushed myself off and smiled with pride ".Wow I thought,How cool is that ?!"
Now I was really digging this shattered thingy.I started looking for Melinda and
found her getting ready to call the cops.She ran to me and hugged me.
Oh Chris! What has happened to you? You are so different!"
"I don't know I said But I like it"
We went to the nearest coffee shop and I cleaned myself up in the bathroom.
I went into the women's restroom and everyone screamed so I went into the Men's room .I wasn't sure where I belonged anymore but I knew I still loved Melinda.
I just never thought she could love me.I guess that's why her kiss blew my mind.
I had loved her since the fourth grade and she always ignored me.
I tried to comb my hair with my fingers and found a flea.Outside the open bathroom window a dog howled in the moonlight.A surge of desire shot through me.
I had to go! I jumped out through the window into the night.A black cat crossed my path and I was hot on his tail.The distant howl sounded again and I heard myself answer in kind.This was going to be a very complicated life.
But at least I would never be that boring little guy I had been all my life.
Somewhere in my primal canine mind I wondered if Melinda would still
love me tomorrow.
the end