Broken Hearted

BROKEN HEARTED



"Snap out of it." "Get over it." "Don't be ridiculous." "How can you miss something you never had?" These are the things my "family" said to me after that dreadful day. What did these people know about what I was going through? My husband told me, "Just don't think about it." As if that would make it go away. What was IT, you ask. The unthinkable. Unfathomable loss. At least, it is so for a parent.

I swear I didn't know. If I had I would have gone to the doctor sooner. Not that it would have made a difference. Ectopic Pregnancy. That is the medical term. "Emergency surgery necessary to save the life of the mother." I remember hearing those words from one of the doctors through the haze of pain and shock. Before I could say anything I was waking up and the life that I never knew was there, was gone.

Memorial Day Weekend. Why do these things always happen when there is something else going on? To ensure that we remember? As if I could forget. My angel. Where are you? Who are you? I never got to know you, but I miss you just the same.

It has been twelve years now. But there are just somethings you don't ever forget, or get over. Yes, you move on. There are moments when you don't feel the guilt or the pain. You can almost be happy. But you never forget.