The Wait

It was a chilly Thursday evening of 27th July, and my digital wrist watch was showing 20:30:23 as I was entering a public telephone booth to do something that I have never done in my life, to call a girl who didn't know who I was. I was shivering and very tensed with sweat all over my palms and my beats getting faster as the seconds ticked by. I picked up the phone and dialled her mobile number and a few seconds later I heard the ring on the phone. I was still tensed and waiting for someone to lift the phone on the other side. Few seconds later someone answered the call. It was a woman's voice.
"Hello", was the first word I heard of her and it was one of the sweetest voice's I ever heard so far in my life.
"Hello, can I speak to Salma please", I was tensed and my hands were shivering as I was holding onto the receiver awaiting a reply from the other side of the line.
"Speaking, may I know who is calling?" came the reply. I was still shivering and in a trembling voice I said "one of her friends".
"What's your name?" was the question from the other side. "Name………, well what can say?" was my reply. "Well you should have a name right", she said. "Well, this is Sam speaking" was my answer to her question.
"Do I know you?" she asked. "No, you don't" was my reply to her question. I was still tensed and my hands were getting cold and heart beat faster. I had to speak something but was unable to utter even a single word.
"Why did you call me?" was her next question. I had no idea whatsoever what to say in reply to her question. "Just like that", was my spontaneous reply.
"Is it landline to mobile free time or are you playing a prank?" was her question to my stupid answer. "No, nothing of that sort, I am not trying to harass you or bug you. So, please don't take it in that manner" was my answer to clarify her doubts. Of course it was natural for girl to get such a doubt when a stranger calls up and gives such a stupid answer.
"Okay why did you call?" was her question. Though repeated I still had no answer for that. "Just like that", was my reply again.
"Just like that; you call a girl and tell just like that, isn't that interesting?" was her surprised question to my continued form of stupid replies. "Yeah it is interesting and my friends tell me that I'm interesting" was another spontaneous stupid reply not knowing what to say.
"Anyway it was great talking to you" were my next words to her. "Okay bye", was the reply from her and "Beep………… Beep………" was the next thing I heard, she hung up the phone.
Nothing much to do I came out of the public booth and paid the due amount and setback to home with a thrilling experience that is hard to express in any form except but experiencing it. I was still tensed then with sweaty palms and a higher heart beat and sense of nervousness that cannot be shared. It was then I realized why doing something for the first time is very exciting and also why it takes a lot of nerves to do it. The day ended on a high note. Next came Friday, July the 28th, I related everything to my cousin, who is more like a trustworthy friend rather than a brother. That evening I planned to call her. I wanted to call her not to play a prank but to reveal what I felt for her in a very frank and sincere manner. But this time I was less tensed as I was accompanied by my cousin.

That evening, we changed the booth (a one close to the previous one); my digital wrist watch was showing 20:54:08 as I picked up receiver. I was still tensed though I was having my cousin beside me. I picked up the receiver and dialled the number with all my guts.
"Ring………… Ring…………………" was what I heard.
"Hello," and I soon realized that it is the voice I wanted to hear "May I know who's calling?" was the next thing I heard. "Hi!" I said "I'm Sam" was my answer to her who.
"Oh!" she exclaimed "Did you call me just like that?" was her question.
I was getting down to business, "I love her and I shouldn't hide anything from her", was my inner voice telling to me to go ahead, perhaps a sort of encouragement.
"Listen, please don't cut the line", was my request to her and I continued "Yesterday was the first time I ever called up a girl who didn't know me and I was bit tensed". I was very frank and sincere in every word I spoke.
"I'm being very sincere and frank in every word I speak. So, please don't cut the line", was the next thing I told her.
"Go ahead I'm listening", was her reply. A hope that rises when you see a dim light at the end of a dark tunnel arose in me and I continued, "I'm coming to the point directly", I said and continued "Listen, I saw you for the first time a month ago and then a fortnight later and then again a couple of days ago."
"I'm being very frank in whatever I'm saying to you; you are the first girl who infused a feeling within me, before that I was never after girls or even bothered to talk to them", I was frank up to the fullest.
"Go ahead I'm listening", she said. I was on a high; at least that she is willing to listen to what I am going to say. "Listen, I'm being very frank to every word that I'm telling you. I heard a great deal about you, both good and bad, but I was never deterred by that. I heard that you'll be leaving the town soon. So, I just want to meet you once before you leave." I was true, I was desperate to meet her, I continued "This Sunday from 7:00 to 7:30 pm at a nearby coffee shop, I'll be waiting for you and this is a sincere request." It was a sincere request and I meant what I said perhaps for the first time I was sincere to the fullest. My brother who was beside me was completely bowled over by the manner in which I spoke, all my nervousness was overcome, I continued "I'll be waiting and this is a sincere request", I said again.
"I will surely fail," was her straight reply to my request.
"Please don't say that. See, I'm requesting you in a very sincere manner. It's a sincere request, please man."
"I request and you come; is more like a command than a request", was her reply to my request. I started to curse myself, 45secs on the clock and not even a penny in my pocket I was running out of time and I had to convince her and I said "I have only 45seconds on the clock so please give me an affirmative answer."
"I'm going to fail surely, 35secs left hang up the call", was her reply.
I requested her and with nothing more to do as she was firm in her answer and 10secs left I bade bye and hung up the call.

The call was up and so was my brother, who was just awestruck; listening to my conversation with her.

Saturday, 29th of July; another first time experience was installed for me, this was an unforgettable day. I followed girl for twenty odd minutes and who else the girl could be. Of course it was her. I did it purposely and I even went to extent of showing my face to her. I shouldn't have really done it but I had no other option in front of me. I was ashamed of what I did but I was very excited on the other hand. Whatever had happened has happened, but I am still a stranger to her though she is no stranger to me.

Sunday, 30th July, the day had arrived; I knew that she is going to stand by her word. But there was still a hope; a hope that one would have when one is struck in a dark room and sees a ray of light at the far end. I stood by word. Time was 18:47:03 as I took a glance at my wrist watch and entered the shop. Looked here and there but she was nowhere. I went to the counter and ordered a Strawberry Milkshake (without ice-cream) costing around 28bucks for myself and went out of the shop. I sat on the railing near the parking lot and waited. I waited till 7:45pm taking a sip or two and glancing at everyone entering and leaving, and then set out to my way back home. On the way I wanted to call her, at first I thought 'No' but I was pulled and finally decided to call her.
I went to a nearby pay phone and dialled the ten digits of her mobile, the ten digits I would never forget in my life. Then, the phone started to ring.
"…………………ring……………………ring……………… Hello", I heard from the other side.
"Hello, can I speak to Salma please?" was my reply to the hello.
"May I know who is calling?" was her question to my question
"This is Sam", was my reply. Then an unexpected answer from the other side was heard "She's not using this number anymore" said a voice that I remember quite well, a voice that is quite familiar and I was taken aback by her answer and it was hers, the voice; was hers, I recognise it. I was hurt, yes I was. In a fit of anger I said "Bye" and slammed the phone. It started drizzling, in fact there was rain in the air right from morning and this drizzle was expected. I went straight to my bro's place. And narrated to him everything that had happened and I wanted to cry; yes I wanted to cry after a very long time. But he soothed me and calmed my aggression and dropped me home. The day passed away on a low note.

Monday, the 31st, the time as I glanced over to my watch was 20:35:13, that day I was accompanied by brother and a friend. I dialled the number and heard a caller tune (just for a change perhaps)
"……Khalbali hai Khalbali …………………" a hit soundtrack from a recent blockbuster 'Rang De Basanti' was what I heard instead of the traditional "……………ring………………ring………" in fact it was one of my favourite tracks.
The coin fell in the box i.e.…; she lifted the phone.

"Hello," I said "May speak to Salma?"
"May I know who is calling?" was her reply.
"I'm Sam", I said and continued "You stood by your and I by mine."
"I told you so" was her reply and she continued "Don't try to invite anymore I'm not going to come anyway." I heard firmness in her voice.
"Don't worry I'm not going to invite or ask to you to come" was my reply assuring her and then I carried on in a requesting manner, "Listen, I just want to meet you once, see me and you'll feel a difference."
"I'm a bit weak in noticing differences" was her answer.
"See me and you'll surely notice a difference, it's a promise" was my reply to her counter question and that was true; I'm not that bad in both looks and academics and I continued "What's your email id?"
A startling question but she kept her cool and said "Tell me name of the person who gave my mobile and I'll surely tell you my email id" was her reply.

"Listen I cannot tell you the name of the person who gave your mobile number, it's not good on my part to betray a friend; I'm sorry" was my reply.

I was sincere in what I said, I didn't want to betray my friend and on the other I wasn't interested in misleading her by giving a false name. I was true, so was my love and friendship.

"It's not even good on your part to call up a girl like this" was her reply to my answer.
"I agree, but I don't have any other way but this. Listen, I'm orthodox but my methods are highly unorthodox. This is the way I'm" was my reply to her.
Again I was out of time and had only 2bucks in my pocket i.e.…; 120secs to say what I want to say.

"Listen, you are dragging me to cross-roads and asking me to choose between this and that, you're putting me into a dilemma, you are really a clever girl."
"I can be proud of that" was what she said.
"Yes you can" was reply assuring her and I continued with just 60secs on my clock "Listen, wherever I go and whatever heights I reach and still I don't get you i.e.…; if you are not mine, I'll consider myself to be a loser, bye." And I hung up the phone. I said those words and I meant them truly and sincerely.
Call me an emotional or a sentimental fool but I was true to the words I spoke, I loved her in fact I still love her and I'll keep loving her and it's a desire that I should spend the rest of my life with her and it was a basic human desire and I feel nothing wrong having a desire like that. The end of July so was the end of Monday.

The next day i.e. Tuesday, 1st August; I finished my evening classes was on my way back when a thought struck. She was leaving the town on the coming Sunday, so, I wanted to buy a card wishing her all the best, a wish that was genuine. The thought struck me at 20:15 and by 20:20 I was on my way to implement it. I went to brother's place but he wasn't there. So, I decided to go to my friend's place and I had to be careful as the road was slippery as it rained an hour ago. We went around her apartment complex twice or thrice and clarified all our doubts. It was in fact a green signal as her vehicle was not in the parking lot. But we were still thinking about the risk involved as there were different questions arising in our minds. But I was prepared to take the risk and I had only 20 rupees in pocket and I bought her a card for 15 odd rupees. The card had a good luck message written on it and I wrote the following message:



"To my first and only love
(Salma)


---The message in the card---


Your mystery man
Sam."

On the front and on the back I wrote my email id. The writing business was over and we walked through the empty lanes and finally reached the destination.
We saw the watchman and gave the card to him asking him to give the card to her when she was back. Of course I was the one who spoke to the watchman (in fact it was the watchman's wife whom we spoke to), my friend was just a spectator and sort of moral support (perhaps). After that we walked into a dim lit lane that leads to the main road. The whole episode was over by 20:50 and I was home by 21:00. I'm like that; I do what I feel like though in an unorthodox manner.

Wednesday, 2nd August; there was a cyclonic depression and it was drizzling with gusts of wind blowing across the streets. I wanted to call her, in fact I was anxious to know whether she got my card or not? I decided to call her up and I did it.
I dialled the numbers and then after a beep's I heard "…………………Khalbali Hai Khalbali………………………………" instead of the traditional "………ring……"
She lifted the phone.
"Hello" I started "Can I speak to Salma?"
"May I know who is calling?" was her query. "One of her friends" was my reply to common question (perhaps). "Sam!" she recognised me. And then she suddenly told, "Next time when you call up don't say that." "Say what?" I asked her in an ambiguous manner. "Don't say that you are my husband" she said and I was awestruck (though I was happy when she said heard the word 'husband'). I assured her that only said that I was 'one of her friend's' and it was true.
"Well, hi!" she sounded in a pleasant manner. I was on track and came to the point directly, "Did you get my card?" I asked her.
"Yeah, but you shouldn't have really brought it" was a resounding reply that she gave me. "See, I got the thought that I should buy something since you are going to leave soon, so, I wanted to buy a card for you wishing you all the best. I got the thought at around eight p.m. and by forty-five minutes past eight I implemented it." I said explaining her, the chain of events as they unfolded.

"Are you like that?" asked she. A strange question but an apt one, yes I'm like that and I answer her, the same.
The focus now shifted towards her email id. I continued, "You got my email id right? I'll be waiting for your mail."
"What's your email id?" I asked in a very requesting and pleasing manner but she was firm very firm and replied saying, "Tell me the name of the person who gave my mobile number, I'll surely give you my email id." But I was dragged back to the cross-roads i.e.…; I had to choose between love and friendship and I said, "Listen, you are asking me to choose between two things that are close to me and in choosing one I have to betray the other which is not good on my part to do that." I was true and I'm in fact loyal to friend and as well as sincere in my love.
"Shall I give a piece of advice?" she said in a low tone.
"Go ahead" I said in affirmative manner.
"When it is between love and friendship; choose friendship" she said, perhaps she was right but I wanted both. Call me selfish or whatever but I wanted both.
I requested her and explained her how sincere I was (in fact I'm still sincere). And then she dropped a bombshell, she said, "I'm committed", in a tone that didn't sound quite firm and assertive, but I'm not really sure whether she is committed or not, but I wish she isn't. I accept the fact that I was taken aback by her answer and she continued, "Listen don't waste your time" and for the first time I heard a concern in her voice and that really elated me. I continued saying, "Listen the girl I chose is not wrong and I know that my decision is an apt one and you are a perfect match for me." She was far quicker than what I expected and she said, "You just can't love a person by seeing her twice or thrice, anyway tell me what is the best thing you like in me?" I thought for a few seconds and then replied, "To love a person it is not necessary that each should know the likes and dislikes of the other" and continued "many people do not even get a chance to express what they feel for their loved ones but you gave me chance to express that and to tell you what I feel for you and how much I love you and for this I am really thankful to you." That thankfulness was true from my side and I was very true to my word and in fact I am true to my word to this very day. She didn't reply perhaps she was not sure what to reply and I continued, "I already told and I say that again, no matter whatever heights I reach and wherever I go in my life and still you are not mine, I am loser who is lost in a game called 'life'" this was something she expected the least to hear from me, "I'll be waiting and this not the end of our story" I continued. Those words were true and straight from my heart. And then I hung up the phone.

That night was a very long one. That night tears rolled out of my eyes after a very long time. I am not ashamed to reveal that I cried, I am revealing just to tell that I love her and how much I feel for her even now.

Thursday, 3rd August; the depression got worse and it was raining heavily right from morning that day and it showed no signs of stopping along with heavy winds. But I was determined to call her up, it's been a week exactly since our episode started and this day I wanted to tell her the 'three magic words' that every person wants to tell to his/her beloved.
My cousin accompanied me (we had only umbrellas for protecting our heads from the wrath of 'Rain God') and this time I called her from a pay phone opposite to her apartment complex.
"…………Khalbali Hai Khalbali…………………" was what I heard after dialling her mobile number.
"Hello!" I heard her saying as soon as she lifted the phone.
"Can I speak to Salma?" I asked
"Sam" she said; she recognised me (perhaps got used to my voice).
I was short of money so, I had to be quick and I was in no mood to beat up the bush, I wanted to be straight and wanted to speak what I intended to.
"Good guess" and continued coming to the point straight "When are you leaving?"
"Within an half an hour, no that's too early make it an hour" she said in a playful tone. "Please be serious" I said trying sound stern. "This Sunday at 9 'o' clock in the morning" she said. But the time was wrong and I knew that because there was no train leaving at nine in the morning from our town that would take her to her destination. But I kept my cool and continued, "Well, can I have your email id?" and she was back to her basics and asked "Tell me the name of the person who gave you my number, I'll surely give you my email id." There was firmness in her in tone and that was one of the best things I liked in her.
"Why do you want to drag that poor fellow in between us? He has left the town already." I said in a pleasing tone. But that was not pleasing to her and replied "You call that guy a poor fellow, does he have minimum decency?"
"He did nothing wrong, he's just trying to help a friend who is sincere and true" I said trying to calm the situation.
"I agree that you're sincere but..." I interrupted her and said "I'm happy that you acknowledge the fact that I am sincere". That's true, I was happy that she accepted the fact that I am sincere and true to my word.
"Anyways, can I have the name of your so called 'committed guy'" I asked. She was stern and asked, "Why?"
"Just wanted to know who the lucky guy is?"
"Ask the person who gave my number" pat came a reply from her. Believe me she was quick but calm at the same time.
I continued, "Listen, you're making me to run for my money." "Then don't run, sit at home and watch T.V," she replied in soft tune but this got on my nerves and perhaps for the first time in the entire episode of ours I lost my nerves and replied, "Listen I don't watch T.V, I don't watch movies, I don't smoke, I don't drink and neither do I flirt," in a fast and swift manner but in tone that was hard and continued "I told you earlier and I tell you again no matter wherever I go and whatever heights I reach in my life and still I don't get you i.e. if you're not mine I'll consider myself to be a loser" and continued "I'll be waiting and this not the end, I Love ..." and the next thing I heard was, "……………………beep…………………beep……………… …" the phone line disconnected as the time was up; I cursed myself on being unable to tell the thing I intended to. We headed to our respective homes with rain still pouring above our heads and winds trying to blow up our umbrella cover and expose us to the wrath of the 'Rain God'.

Friday 4th August; previous night's rain and wind created havoc in the town felling many tress and snapping many power and telephone lines, but the winds did not subside.

Today I decided to call her but I was alone. 'What a change of events' I thought as I was alone when I called her up for the first time and I was alone on what was perhaps the last call (but I wished that this shouldn't be the last conversation between us). The time was 20:30:23 as I glanced over to my watch while entering the pay phone booth, with winds trying to sway me left and right.
I dialled the number and the phone started ringing.
"Hello," I heard her voice as she lifted the phone.
"Can I speak to Salma?" I asked. "Who else do you expect to speak when you call someone's mobile?" she replied in a low tone. Perhaps she was ill and my guess proved right as I heard her coughing over the phone.
"So, when are you leaving?" was my question. "Sunday," she said.
"Tell me the time; I will come to the station, I'll see you from a far off distance and walk away." I asked in a very sincere manner. But she was firm; she wasn't in any mood to reveal the time. But she gave an option by asking "Tell me the name of the person who gave my mobile number and I'll surely tell you." "Listen, that poor fellow is not even in this town." I replied, but I was interrupted by her, "You call that a guy a poor fellow; giving a girl's number like that," she asked me. I was prepared for a question of that sort and replied, "I agree I approached you in not the finest of manners, but he is only trying to help out a friend, and I had no other options in front of me except that."
"What would you do, if you were in a position like this?" she asked. "I am a very selfish person, I don't give my girl's number to anyone, believe it or not, my cousin who knows the entire thing doesn't know your number," I replied in a serious manner. "Correct your sentence, I'm not your girl" she said and I was quick to react, "Sorry I can't do that. You're my girl and you'll remain as my girl."
She was about to say something but I interrupted her and said, "Listen, I told you earlier and I tell you again no matter wherever I go and whatever heights I reach in my life and still I don't get you i.e. if you're not mine I'll consider myself to be a loser" and continued "I'll be waiting and this not the end..." I was interrupted "Then keep waiting for the rest of your life," she said and I continued, "If we're destined to meet again we shall meet" and said "I LOVE YOU, bye." I hung up phone immediately before she could reply (but she heard what I said) and walked from the booth after paying the amount due.
Call me a fool, or an idiot or a dumb head; call me whatever you feel like but I never had the guts to hear a 'NO' from her and that was the reason I didn't wait for a reply. I'll be waiting for her with a hope that someday she'll be mine; the wait isn't over. This is not the end.

Sam's journey through the night will continue.