The Dream

It was back...once again. She woke up in the middle of the night, her body gripped with panic and trembling in fear; her heart was beating fast the pulse was racing. She looked at her sweaty palms and wiped them to the sheets she had been clutching. The knotted feeling in her stomach made her feel sick and she was ready to throw up. She reached out to wipe the beads of sweat from her face and the neck.

Her head was throbbing with pain. She reached for the glass of water kept at the side of her bed, only to find it empty. She got up unwillingly from her bed and made her way to the kitchen to have a glass of water. Her throat was dry from the scream that had refused to pass her lips when she was falling down into the dark bottomless pit.

The dream had awakened her as it always did. The sinking feeling of falling into a bottomless pit had always woken her up. Waking up in the middle of the night gasping for breath and later telling herself that it was just a bad dream was all that she could do to console herself. It was scary.... eerie, to be precise. At times she could vividly remember strong currents of swirling waters engulfing her, and at times all she remembered was rocks... sharp jagged rocks. The fall was the scariest. She often wondered what the dream tried to signify.

It was a dream that haunted her continuously, a dream that never ended.

Was it some kind of a forewarning?

All kinds of thoughts raced to her mind. She went out to the balcony to get a breath of fresh air and sitting on the swing she thought of it again. Why was the dream haunting her so much? What was it about the dream that was slowly beginning to destroy her mental peace? She seemed to be incessantly scared of something she couldn't figure out. She looked around half expecting to see something that would give her the answer. Trying to figure out if she would get an answer to the question that seemed to perpetually haunt her seemed practically impossible. She ran her fingers through her hair. They were wet with sweat. She smiled to herself, probably she needed a shrink to talk to, she must be on the verge of a breakdown with the kind of chaotic life she lead, or probably she just needed a well deserved break,
something she had not taken for a long time. She mentally made a note of the
latter and decided to go for a long break as soon as she could find some time on her hands.

She made her way back towards her bedroom and lay on the bed. It was soon time to get to work. She had passed yet another sleepless night. She had lost count on the number of times the dream had awakened her. The dream had slowly become a part of her life.

She got up unwillingly to get ready for work. It had been an extremely tiring day at the office, thanks to the sleepless night she had spent. On the way back to home she wondered if the dream would keep her awake tonight.

The dream awakened her yet again... Her boss gave her a disapproving look as
she walked in late.

She had kept the clients waiting for over two hours and to top it all her presentation had not been convincing enough for them to sign the contract. They had lost a major business deal.

He called her to his cabin "Look, is there something bothering you?" he asked in tone that was a mix of concern and irritation.

"You just do not seem to be yourself anymore. You work is slacking and I do not see you paying any attention at all. Is there something that is bothering you? Someway I can help you?" he asked looking into her eyes.

She half thought if she should tell him about the dream that was shattering her mental peace. But then she did not want him to think that she was getting cracked up!

"No! nothing at all. I guess I am too tired. I just need a break and I shall be alright." She said with a smile. "I really am fine," she muttered to herself as she walked out.

Her boss looked at her and mentally made a note to let her take a break. She probably needed it.

The dream came again and again. No matter how many tranquilizers she took before she went to sleep, she always woke up in the middle of the night, her body trembling, the knotted feeling in her stomach with a fear that refused to go away. This time she vowed to go to a shrink, she needed him more than a break.

She looked up the directory to jot down a few addresses; she didn't want to ask anyone. She did not want people pretending to be sympathetic trying to find out what was wrong. The last thing she wanted to do was think of any reasons to give if they asked her why she needed it.

She dialed a number and asked for an appointment. Despite an appointment she
waited for nearly an hour at his office. During her wait she was convinced that she had been crazy to even contemplate that she wanted to meet a shrink. What if somebody found out? She would be probably labeled mad, a lunatic. She almost walked out, when he came out.

"Hello" he said. "I am really sorry to keep you waiting," he said with a smile.

She looked at him realizing she had nobody else to talk to. It took her close to 4 -5 visits before she could actually talk to him.

The dream was more frequent now. The dream came the minute she went off to sleep, the impact so deep that she lay awake almost all nights, refusing to go to sleep, scared that the dream might come back and haunt her.

All through the day thoughts of the dream began to disorganize her daily routine. Her boss called her to his cabin one day, and gave her two options, either she hand in her resignation letter or he hand over to her, her dismissal letter. The Head Office had not been very pleased about the fact that they had not met their targets and to top it all they had lost two contracts and three existing clients all because of her negligence. She opted for the former. She had no choice. Either way she would've lost the job. Mentally she thanked her boss for giving her the choice, at least she
had a chance to look for another job, and if she would've had the dismissal letter in her hand things would've been worse.

He watched her as she cleared her table and made her way out, feeling bad that he had to put such a bright career to an end, but he didn't have a choice, he had to do that if he needed his job.

With the job gone, she realized that she would have to begin all over again.

She now had ample amount of spare time in her hands. She looked out for job opportunities in the newspapers. She finally secured a decent job. There were a couple of weeks to go before she could join the job.

The dream however continued to haunt her. With continued sessions she hoped that her fear would fade away, but no matter how many medicines she took or the number of counseling she attended, she always came back to him, her fear stronger than before. It was during one of her countless sessions that the psychiatrist advised her to go for a vacation, something he felt that she needed badly. It would be a welcome change he had told her and she would also have enough time to relax and enjoy a leisurely holiday.

It was almost reluctantly that she decided to go for a vacation.

He got a call a week after she had left for the vacation.

His visiting card and telephone number was all that the police had found in her bag in the hotel room where she had been staying.

Witnesses claimed that they had seen her jump off the cliff. It had taken the police two days to locate the body, which had fallen into the swirling waters below the cliff, the jagged rocks in and around the sea had made it difficult for the divers to find the body soon. The body had been found and it was kept in the mortuary. The freezing waters had done no any harm to the body and it had not decomposed. If he could come and identify the body it would be of great help the officer told him over the phone.

He didn't need to think who it could be. He knew it was her.

He wondered if he had been responsible for her death. If he had not asked her to go for the vacation she would be alive today. The thought was momentary. He reached the next day to identify the body.

It was her.

She didn't need to spend anymore sleepless nights frightened that the dream would haunt her. The dream was complete and now she would have an undisturbed sleep. She looked peaceful. She looked as though she was smiling or was that his imagination? He turned to look at her for the last time as he walked out of the room....he was not imagining.... the smile was there.

Her dream was over.