Destiny's Child

"I am not prepared for it and I just do not want to give birth to this child now"... "Why don't you understand...we had not planned for it and its too early." she said.

But...you can't really think of it...can you?

"Mohit, I'm just at the peak of my career and that is more important to me. I cannot afford to take a break now." said Mohana. "I just can't."

She broke into a volley of sobs.

Mohit put his arm around her. He knew what she was going through, but he was just unable to accept it. He loved her a lot...she was his life. He just could not see her so depressed.

It was just a month ago that she discovered her pregnancy. It had been a shock to her. She was not prepared for it. He remembered the date...it was on the 17th of August. She was not very cheerful when she broke the news to him. She did not want the child.

"Sweetheart, why don't you just think about it?" he said. "I'm sure you might just change you mind. Please...let's not take a decision in a hurry."

He knew that that she was a career-oriented woman, but he had expected her to melt down a little bit... but she was firm.

"I'm just beginning to take off and the assignments that I have are really important," she told him.

She was a freelance photographer, and at an early age she had earned a lot of fame. She had won a lot accolades for her works. Her most admired work was on the orphans. She had captured those images so beautifully. The children looked so vulnerable in those photographs. Anyone seeing the photograph had an immediate feeling of holding those small children in a warm embrace.

"Mohana, It's going to be Children's Day, and I was wondering if you could do a special feature for our magazine on the same. I want something different," said Ajit, her boss.

"You know something similar to the one that you had done on the orphans 5-years ago. Remember the kind of accolades you won for that?" he added.

"Of course, I'm looking for something more deep...something that would leave a mark on the person's mind. And moreover, now that you have also been chosen to represent our Magazine at the International Photographer of the Year Contest, I want this to be really impacting," he continued.

Mohana looked at her boss and smiled. "Ajit, don't worry." "This will be something you will love," she said with a smile.

"Trust me...this will be one of the best creations of my career. I am looking forward to participating in the International Photographer of the Year contest too," she went on.

"Great" said Ajit. "I'll give you the lead. Do you remember the story the media hyped about a couple of weeks ago?"

"The one on the abandoned children in the Shishu Kunj?" asked Mohana.

"Yes, precisely that one. I want you to photograph those children," he said.

"Sure shot...I will! That should not be a problem."

That night she thought about the fame she would receive with her work. After all not every photographer who is 26-years-old gets the chance to participate in the Contest. She was elated when she got the news that she was chosen.

The next day was a hectic one. She just could not seem to find children whom she wanted to capture in her work. They all seemed so cheerful to be together. They were too engrossed in their games and fun to notice her. She tried in vain, but she just could not get a photograph.

It was on the third day that she noticed her. She was a pretty girl aged about 5-years-old. She was sitting on the swing...all by herself. She watched the other children play about. She did not seem to be very happy around them.

This was the kind of a child she was looking for...she clicked a few rolls and told the elderly matron that she would be back the next day. She wanted more photographs.

She could not have seen a sadder child in her whole life...and all through the photographs the child looked at her as though waiting for her to look at her, talk to her, accept her...and just hold her tight.

She looked at the blank roll in front of her and shook her head. There had to be a mistake. She could understand one roll going bad, but all the three... they just showed blank films. She frowned.

How could this be possible? She was sure she had developed the same rolls.

This was disgusting! All her hard work, down the drain! Something was wrong
somewhere. She woke up early the next day. She drove down to Shishu Kunj It was almost 6 in the morning when she reached. There she was on the swing looking towards the gate expectantly as though expecting her there.

She walked towards her. "Baby, what's your name?" she asked the girl on the swing.

"I don't know," she replied.

She smiled..."You do not know your name. OK. What do everyone call you here?" she asked.

"No one knows me here," the girl replied.

"You must be having a name," said Mohana.

"You never gave me a name," replied the girl.

"I never gave you a name? I don't even know you," replied Mohana.

This girl sounded a little too big for here age and something about her was making her feel uneasy.

"Yes, you chose not to know me or give me a name. But, you can call me whatever you want," said the girl.

"Whatever you want...whatever," the girl cried.

Mohana watched a tear roll down her cheek.

She reached out to touch the child but was shocked when her hand went through her body.

She was like an apparition. So close and so real...

"Ma, you never gave me a name. I wanted to be with you, but you just left me...just abandoned me...I wanted to be with you and papa, but you never gave me a chance. I would have been the best daughter...I wanted to make you proud...you never gave me the chance...never... why did you do that?" she cried uncontrollably.

"Baby...but I don't even know who you are! How do you know me? Who are you?"
she asked again.

She looked at the girl closely and there was something about her was familiar. She looked just like her...those eyes, those lips...and the chin...the broad forehead.

"Ma you can look at me but never capture me in your photographs. You can imagine me as whatever you want...I am yours...I was destined to be yours...but you chose otherwise..."

Mohana watched in horror as she saw her disappear in front of her eyes. This was scary...what was she talking about?

She remembered the date...it was September 17th. Five years earlier she had
undergone an abortion to pursue her career.