Guilt

I feel panic spreading from the base of my skull to beneath my findernails, it curdles, boils, and knaws ceaselessly like a cornered, ferocious, mangled beast, snarled up, hunched over, and bleeding.

Icy fingers are placed gently at the base of my spine....and the sensation rolls to my softness, and shoots out like a ray of light.

Softness is like sahara....we never feel the rolling with out an oasis....a thought, an escape from her madness.

Hot and soft.
Dry and Hard.
She's crying, but no tears come. She is like a dry heave. She's sick, she's crazy. I loved her.

Oh Lord, we feel the panic now. She is the only companion on my sinking ship. But the line on the boat n'er moves. The sink is steady, we fanticize about sinking into salty depths but we can't swim. We don't know how.

I'm terrified, I'm trapped, I'm lost in a lapping, briney, swirl oc colors.

I have decided that this is not real. I'm in a coma, this is an alternate reality.

Vultures have come to eat my breadcrumbs. Creeching, clawing, angry and hungry. They've come for me.,....all I have to offer is my cup of sea.

My albatross.

This can't be real.

Concentrate.

Lumps are in my brain.

I hope it's cancer.

Pinpricks of light come next. They illuminate the inky lumps of flesh, as they peel back the skull.,

Probe me with your fingers.

I enjoy it.

Peel off my layers, my light will show you what you wish to see.

Lap up the sea.

I adore it.

Dive into obelisks of light....

Illuminate me.

Too numerous to count. Dozens, fallen....conquered.

Heavy straps

Leather and Rivets

Taste my spurs

Hurt ME

I love it.

Keep your hands off.

I abhore it.

Soft and silky..

Drip like her orange when she's ripe and cut open.

But you have to cut her open.

Cut me.

I adore you.