Chapter 1 (A whole new beginning)

I can picture it clearly.
Me.
Sat impatiently on My Aunt’s windowsill.
My head resting lazily against the window pane.
My tears merging with the light summer rain which happily trickled on the outside of the window whilst my tears made the same miserable path on the inside.
They said they were coming.
Even now, as I’m stood in front of My Aunt’s full length mirror, combing my stubbornly short, jet black hair with my fingers.
Even now, as I apply sticky red lipstick to my chapped pink lips.
Even now, as I jab congealed mascara onto stubby, sharp lashes which flick out unattractively above fierce, dark green eyes. Which I am sure have shown no other emotion other than misery and anger…
Even now, I can see those very same emerald eyes staring out at me from this very same mirror not long ago enough.
My hair was longer then, and a less striking black.
I don’t need to dye it.
I just do.
It was curly then too. And little ringlets spiralled their way down to my waist.
There was a ribbon.
Lilac.
Tied neatly in a bow in the very centre by my Aunt, with only the tiniest tuft of fringe peeping out.
And a lilac dress. Contrasting beautifully with my hair and eyes, complete with enough frills and lace to keep any eight year old girl happy on her Birthday.
I wore a smile too.
Not so rare then as now.
Bright and happy.
So bright and happy, in fact that my eyes twinkled like they never have done since.
I remember rushing downstairs.
I opened the presents My Aunt gave me, ate the cake My Aunt baked me, drank the pop My Aunt bought me.
Gina came and Gina went, but I only really wanted Them.
But They weren't coming.
So I spent the rest of my birthday sat by the window, my head leant against it, willing them- wishing them-to come to me.
Aunt Tree comforted me with gentle words, treats and hot chocolate, but none of her attempts lifted my spirits.
Then.
A loud, harsh trill.
The telephone.
A couple of hushed, whispered words.
Then My Aunt.
Her eyes watery, her voice shaky.
The Truth.
They would never come.

And even now, as I think of that moment, I feel as if I’m going to cry.