The Art of Handshaking

The Art of Handshaking.

A skill for life

Some of us men take this everyday act for granted; some enjoy it; some of us feel uncomfortable or even worry about it, but don’t worry guys I am here to offer you some help.

Handshaking is used as a social or business greeting, to seal a deal or confirm a bond, the act of shaking hands is very important.

Other cultures around the world may employ different methods, but in Britain and the United States as well as several other countries handshaking is the preferred and expected formal greeting; one of the only forms of permissible ‘touching ‘ that strangers will often partake in. You may feel unconfident when you go to shake someone’s hand but the good news is that it is a skill, a technique that can be learnt and improved upon.

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The handshake should be seen as a tool, not just to promote yourself but also to gauge others feelings. You use it when you meet some one and equally when you take your leave, especially, say in an interview situation when you need to make a good impression in a short space of time.

There are different handshakes that you can employ but be generally wary of the ‘limp’ handshake, either giving or receiving; it does nothing to enhance your impression of someone or them of you. It is important that the handshake you use gives a positive signal about yourself so start by considering what you want to say:

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• “I’m confident and trustworthy.”
• “I’m friendly and discreet.”
• “I’m welcoming and open.”

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A firm handshake, good eye contact and warm smile are the universal ways to get off on the right foot with anyone, but being aware of other people’s signals is important too, you don’t want to give a different impression than the one intended.

From using this ‘safe touch ‘handshake you could move into more familiar greetings like a touch on the arm or if the recipient is female a slight kiss on the cheek. Socially it depends on the occasion but if someone offers you his or her hand do take it, it breaks the ice, and not taking a proffered hand comes across as rude and aloof even though you may just be shy.

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Business situations often call for handshakes, but socially it may be less appropriate Find your own style depending on the occasion; a firm shake with a squeeze; a ‘double touch’ with one hand enclosing the shaking ones – it varies with intimacy or your desired response.

When you are more confident try different methods and gauge the reaction to them. People who shake hands and lean in to you are keen to like you; those who shake hands and immediately pull back are likely to be more reserved with their feelings.

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If you want to find out if a person, in particular a female is open to more familiar forms of greeting don’t let go of her hand immediately, if she naturally holds yours and drops her shoulder to you she is more likely to be happy to accept a kiss of greeting (which is usually a light kiss on one or both cheeks.) Often a handshake is seen as testing the waters; you need to play with it, take your time in studying their response.

If you are not confident the best thing to do is play safe, a firm handshake with good eye contact and a smile can melt many an icy heart.

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Practice some role plays put yourself in the position of a job interview and use a sentence with your name in too e.g. ‘Hello, my name is John.’ You will be projecting confidence and remember those first few minutes are very important. If the interview has gone well use the double touch handshake as you leave to reinforce your warmth and openness.

All these signals will leave a good impression on a future employer and just might swing it in your favour. Remember that work experience is a great way to find out about a career that you’re interested in. It also looks good on a CV/Résumé and shows future employers how committed you are to finding yourself the right role.

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I hope this advice will be of some help to you in your future life and remember practice will only make it better. Dude

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