How To Walk: One Step Before The Other

He stepped off the platform and onto the subway. He really wasn’t sure on the destination of the rail but he was confident he’d be able to find his way back.
Ray seldom had spare time on his hands, with his job and college, who could possibly get out much? His classes were rigorous and his job was aggravating; and yet, he absorbed all this silently. He was polite to everyone every single day no matter if they were screaming at him or laughing at him. Ray was never mad or depressed, nor happy or excited. Ray could take anything. He was a ghost.
Even as he took his seat in the crowded car he didn’t see anyone and no one saw him. He could feel the train picking up momentum. He could feel the bumps on the tracks but Ray couldn’t feel.
He had brown orange hair and hazy gray eyes. He viewed the world from behind that tint in his eye and continued a steady pace through life, no meaning and no purpose, never noticing what is around him or in front of him. Always doing what was asked or expected of him, never asking a question.


In the car his attention was caught by a little girl, exasperatingly swinging her feet. She had a nice bright red hat on, the kind that is meant to hide the hair, with little pigtails stubbornly poking out. She slowly turned her eyes to him as if noticing she was being noticed. This revealed to him a small lightly freckled face.
His eyes were vacant when he laughed with the child. Everyone who noticed felt warmly for Ray everyone but the little girl. It was expected of him to be kind to a child but he was such a foreign object to her that she could not begin to describe.
The train slowed to a stop and Ray felt like stretching his legs. He randomly decided to step off while the little girl stared after him while he disappeared into the crowds.


Ray had walked a while before he approached a door. Of course, nothing was on his mind when he entered that convenient store. He browsed around a bit and finally decided to reach for a coke.

The florescent lights of the store reflected on the shining floor. But Ray didn’t see it.

Ray walked over to the closest cash checkout and mindlessly waited. He didn’t notice four men walk into the store, all he heard was, “Get down!” Then he heard a shot and a loud whistle. Suddenly he could see right through a young man’s head who had been waiting in front of him in line. “Get down!” The man repeated, though Ray had only heard half of it. His ear rang with the same bullet that almost went through him as well when it had flown past. But like everyone Ray instantly dropped to the floor as two of them went to seize the store’s goods and the other two to capture the money.
It didn’t take Ray long to find that he had dropped in the corpse’s blood. He didn’t dare move but the warm thick liquid beneath him was too much to handle. Ray put a hand to his face to keep from vomiting. He felt something warm.
Throughout the store people were unable to function. Some were crying, some were cursing. Some were visiting; some were at home. But they all had one thing in common. They were scared. And for the first time in Ray’s life he could honestly say the same.


Ray quickly removed his hand and shook blood and morsels of the corpse off his face. Ray began to shake uncontrollably and his breathing was no longer under his control. He was like an animal that scurried to find shelter but only found a corner doomed to see its end. “I said get down!”
One of the men walked over to a woman in a yellow dress who hadn’t completely lain on the ground. It’s not that she didn’t want to get her dress dirty it’s just that she had another individual in her womb to think of. Instead, she was on her knees with both her hands flat on the floor. “Hey lady! Don’t you know how to follow directions!” She opened her mouth to try and utter a small protest but instead gave an agonizing cry. The man had kicked her in the stomach.
“Now will you get down,” he questioned angrily. He kicked her again. She was ready for it this time enough to somewhat soften the blow but she could almost feel her child’s pain as he moved sluggishly inside her. She screamed and cried, “Please! –No!” Her voice deprived of hope.
This time a stranger got up from another aisle and tackled the man. He’d had his guard down when he kicked the woman. Now the stranger was going to help.
A gun popped out of the man’s hand and skid on the tiled floor. They wrestled and beat each other just like any classic story of good versus evil. They fought in time to the woman’s sobbing like a mournful play that Ray could only watch. It reminded Ray of all the stories his grandpa use to tell him.
“You see,” he had once said, “ the peasants didn’t want to listen to the greedy King any more so they walked right up to him and…” “…the dragon blew storms of fire at the knight but the knight knew what he had to do. He walked bravely forward toward…” “…the soldiers walked defiantly toward the battlefield…” “…the fireman walked…” They had always been stories about bravery and passion. “You know, kiddo… our family has always had an important influence in any battle we had ever fought. Even me! I got a medal of honor in out last war and in the old country our family played a key role in the revolution. Courage runs deep in your veins, my boy. You’re destined to be great!”


Ray could feel the fear eating away at his stomach but he couldn’t help but to feel anger as he slowly rose to his feet. He could feel the woman’s heart ache as if his heart wailed along with her. He could feel his rage pump adrenaline to the core of his bones as if there were a motor inside of him that he simultaneously jittered along with. He could feel an anticipation of a new hope in his chest that made it irregularly hard to breath.
Ray could hear the other three intruders bringing their attention to the fight of their fellow in crime. But he didn’t care. For the first time in Ray’s life he was making a decision. He groped for the gun that was knocked away during the fight.


The heroic stranger lay on his back with the man on top of him beating him senseless. The man finally decided to get up with blood dripping from his knuckles. And turned to see a man with orange brown hair and focused gray eyes, pointing his own gun straight at him. He jerked. “ What are you doing? –You’re outnumbered you know…” “ I don’t care,” Ray replied confidently. “You’re just gonna get shot.” The other three men moved toward Ray with their weapons in hand. But Ray didn’t pay any attention he was distracted by a bright red object beyond the store’s front window. It was the little freckled girl from the subway; and she was smiling with him. It was astounding.


In this instant Ray understood. (“ Hey guy, just put the gun down…”) “-No.” He could make decisions. He was alive. He could argue. He could fight. He could kick and scream. (“…-Someone’s gonna get hurt!”) “ I wont.” He could change the world. He looked into the eyes of the man who had beat the woman and her helper; and saw nothing. Bang. He pulled the trigger. The bullet pierced the air between its starting point and its destination.


“ Hey Carl, do you still have my pen?” “ -Oh! Yeah! Here you go.” “They came through the front door, right?” “Yep, don’t forget to add that on the report.” “And you talked to witnesses didn’t you, Carl? Anything interesting?” Officer Carl shook his head. “There was this little girl in a red hat that saw the entire thing but she couldn’t stop talking about anything but how some guy ‘learned how to walk’ I think she said. She was too over excited to talk about anything else.” “Poor kid’s probably trying to block out the whole situation.” “Yeah, it’s pretty weird how that gun back fired,” Carl said, as he glanced down at bloody heap on the shining floor, “ they got away with all the money too.”